A Very Cliché Story [Parody]

Chapter 1: Oh Hey, I'm At A New School!

This is my first story, so it may or may not be very good.

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BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

THUD.

I hit the snooze button lazily and looked up at my alarm clock. 6:00. Time for school. Oh joy.

I rolled out of bed and got dressed in a tight white V-neck shirt and short skirt. I brushed my hair and teeth, washed my face and applied generous amounts of eyeliner and mascara. I stared at myself in the mirror. My long, golden blonde hair cascaded in gentle waves down my back. My sparkling aquamarine eyes had been lined with makeup and my long lashes covered with mascara. My tight clothing hugged my perfectly bronzed, supermodel thin body. I checked my teeth in the mirror- Whiter than fresh snow and absolutely straight, despite never having braces.

In other words, I was completely hideous.

"God, I'm ugly," I muttered. I grabbed by bookbag and trudged downstairs. As I walked through the kitchen I found my drunken uncle passed out at the table, surrounded by beer bottles. Quietly, I pulled a Pop-Tart out of the cupboard and tiptoed out the front door.

Now, you may be wondering, 'Why do you live with your uncle? Where are your parents?' Well, my parents went on a vacation to the Alps when I was only 4. In an unfortunate turn of events, they got lost while skiing down a mountain and were eaten by a pack of wolves. The only remains that were ever found was a cheese Danish. Why my parents had a cheese danish with them while they were skiing, I have no idea. My alcoholic uncle adopted me and after moving a few times, we finally settled here in Oregon. Today is my first day at a new high school.

I finally reached the high school after a long walk. It had two stories and was big enough to get lost in easily. Outside, students were everywhere. Jocks, in letterman jackets, throwing around a football. A group of people wearing tie-dye and hemp jewelery sat around a tree, looking dazed and obviously on something. Preppy cheerleaders stood in a huddle, whispering and giggling annoyingly.

I stared at the spectacle before me as I heard a bell ring. I hurried up the stone steps past a group of band kids having an intense debate about reed sizes and into the school. Luckily, I had had an orientation with the principal a few days ago, so I knew where my classes were. Pulling my bookbag off one shoulder I reached in and pulled out my schedule. My first period was Biology with Mrs. Crimbleton. I remembered meeting her during my orientation 2 days ago. She was a frail, old woman, probably in her 80's. She was nice, besides the fact that she talked like she was from the 1930's ("Do young'uns like you still boogie to the Charleston?") and kept trying to get me to eat butterscotch candies.

I put my schedule into my pocket as I tried to navigate the river of people around me. After being bumped into for the millionth time, I finally made it to my room. The second I stepped inside every eye in the room was on me. I glanced at the clock and realized I was a minute late.

'Great,' I thought, 'First day of school and I'll already be in trouble.'