A Very Cliché Story [Parody]

Chapter 7: I Become Part Of The World's First Love Pentagon

Author's Note:

Hello, wonderful readers! This chapter is pretty exciting (it is in my opinion, anyway) and I would love to know what everyone thinks of it and the whole story in general. Comment, vote, whatever floats your boat (that rhymed! I'm a poet and I didn't even know it!) Thanks everyone! ^__^

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So here I was, being kidnapped by a group of Hollister models. Was this real? Was I in some weird version of Inception? Would one of the models say, "It's time to wake up" and I would find myself at home in my bed?

The van suddenly lurched to a stop, causing me to hit my nose off the seat. Rubbing my throbbing nose, I tried to look out the windshield to see where we were, but one of the models was blocking my view.

I turned to the guy next to me and asked, "Where are we?" He ignored me. The driver got out and opened my door, grabbing my arm and pulling me out. I watched as two of the men started to grab things out of the trunk. 'Oh, God,' I thought, starting to feel scared. 'I'm going to be murdered by people who wear too much cologne and too little clothing!'

I watched as they turned around holding not chainsaws or obsolete torture devices like I had previously expected, but Hollister bags full of Hollister clothing.

I decided I'd had enough of guessing what was happening and not knowing. "Okay, seriously, why am I here? And why do you have bags of clothes? If you're going to murder me, just do it quickly." I braced myself for someone to pull out a weapon.

All four models glanced at each other, puzzled. "We're not going to murder you," one said. "We just want your opinion on some new clothing we got at Hollister. We need to know if we look douchey enough."

Now I was the puzzled one. "That's it? You four just dragged me off to the middle of some godforsaken forest so I can fill you in on the douchey-ness of Hollister clothing?"

They glanced at each other. "Yes."

I sighed, exasperated. "Well, your clothing is all very douchey, just so you know. Can I leave now?"

All of a sudden, something very sudden happened suddenly. I saw 5 guys come sprinting out of a bush, guns ablazing. Literally, they all had guns. All I heard before all hell broke loose was they boys yell, "Who ya gonna call? ONE DIRECTION!"

Three of the Hollister models jumped into their van and sped off, but one didn't. He instead pulled two guns out of his waistband and pointed them menacingly at the boy band.

I saw a blur of gloominess fall out of a tree, his two guns also ablazing. It was Aaron, the true love of my life who also happened to be a vampire! 'But,' I pondered, 'Is he really still my one true love? I also am falling in love with Tyler and Harry, and this Hollister model, even though I don't even know his name. I'm no longer in a love triangle. I'm in...' I struggled to remember my geometry class. 'A pentagon! I'm in a love pentagon!'

I looked around. While I was lost in my ponderings, Tyler had somehow shown up with two guns of his own. Everyone was pointing their guns at each other and standing in a circle. Even two members of One Direction had one gun on each other.

Silence fell on the forest as all nine men glared at each other. Then, the blond member of One Direction, Niall, had a metaphorical lightbulb go off above his head.

"Holy Nando's, guys!" He exclaimed in his Irish accent. "We're in a Mexican standoff!"

"No shit, Sherlock," Tyler sneered.

They all resumed glaring at each other. It was all very suspensful.