Tales of Cubonia

The Golden Hourglass 16 - The Familiar

There are a few of things you should know about being the familiar of a witch or wizard. First of all, it's rare to be a wizard's familiar at all. Wizards are a proud race who believe that their power is far superior to anyone else's and that they don't need help from lesser creatures like familiars or witches. Typical male posturing. Every once in a great while, however, a wizard decides to take a familiar simply because they need someone to do the dirty work that they themselves do not deign to do it. Being a wizard's familiar is a hard life, and not one that has many benefits to the familiar. More often than not, the familiar is degraded, mistreated, and sometimes physically abused depending on the wizard. The main bullet point here is this: do your best not be a wizard's familiar.

Second, a familiar is essentially an extension of the witch or wizard themselves. Almost like an additional appendage. As such, a familiar can be just as powerful as their creator, but the amount of power they possess is completely dependent on how much the witch or wizard grants them. It would not do to have a familiar that has full power, as that would cause an awkward relationship between master and servant, a kind of equal partnership that is undesirable by both parties for widely different reasons. In the history of magic in all its various forms, no familiar has ever been granted more than half of its master's powers. Magic folk, witch and wizard alike, are very vain creatures and believe that no one could or should ever contest their powers, least of all their familiars.

The last thing you should know is that it is very difficult to kill a familiar. A familiar's life force is tied to that of its master, so as long as the master lives the familiar will too. Although it probably goes without saying, the surest way to kill a familiar is to destroy the witch or wizard that created it, a difficult task in and of itself. The only other surefire way to end the existence of a familiar is to destroy it so completely that there are not enough pieces left in any one place for the familiar to be able to heal itself. If you find yourself in an altercation with a witch's familiar, you'd do well to either run or prepare to die, because it won't stop until one of the previously described scenarios has been completed or you die, which is usually the more likely outcome.

I'm sure none of that will come into play later on in this tale, but I thought it pertinent to discuss as Gus the guinea pig, familiar of The Witch of the Wastes, will be the focal point of this portion of our story.

Gus, as it turns out, had witnessed Broderick's encounter with the Brothers of the Little Bridge. The familiar had more than enough power to blast each one of the bandits to smithereens, but there was little fun in such a concise victory. Besides, the Witch had instructed him not to get involved with anything. His mission was to watch and report, nothing more. Being a guinea pig, he could accomplish his mission with little to no effort. When you're a guinea pig, there are few things that are smaller than you, which makes it easy to lurk in shadows and hedges without having to worry about making a lot of unwanted noise or commotion.

Once the princess and Broderick had climbed atop the gryffon and took to the skies, Gus watched as the final bandit pulled himself laboriously from the water, cursed after his brothers, and scampered off in the direction they had already scampered off in. When he felt like the coast was sufficiently clear, Gus emerged from the tall grass that lined the water's edge with relative certainty that nothing would swoop down from the skies and try to eat him. He wouldn't die from it, but it had happened once or twice and it was rather unpleasant.

Poking his short snout over the water, Gus muttered an incantation, and swirled the water with one tiny paw. Instantly the water began whirling around much faster than even the current could have made it. It turned a milky white before materializing into a substance akin to a mirror, but much more fluid. Moments later, the Witch of the Waste's disastrously ugly face appeared in the wavy mirror looking rather put out. Whether she was actually disturbed by Gus's call or not, it was hard to say as she almost always looked put out by something.

"What do you want, Gus?" she snapped when she saw her familiar through the viewing portal. "A heard of camel cattle just wandered into the northeast quadrant."

Gus knew how much the Witch liked to torment any creature that found itself unfortunate enough to wander into the Wastes of Time. He would make the report quick to avoid incurring her considerable wrath.

"Broderick has left the Long Road, and is headed back to Laketown," reported Gus in a squeak. "It would seem that he has agreed to teach Princess Alexandra how to fight in exchange for the necklace."

The Witch huffed. "I don't give a damn what he does with the girl," she spat, "as long as I get that necklace in a timely manner. There's a lot riding on him bringing that here. Is it unharmed?"

"Of course, your ghastliness," answered Gus. "Do you wish me to follow or return to the castle?"

There was a long pause in which Gus could see the Witch moving figurines about the map of the Wastes. It lasted so long that he was beginning to think that she had forgotten he was there.

"Stay with him," she answered finally. "Porter was slippery enough to escape the castle with the necklace and princess in tow. I won't have him pulling a fast one on us this late in the game."

"As you wish, Vile One," Gus said curtly. He had rather hoped to get back to his comfy bed under the Witches own bed. It had only been a few days since he began following Broderick Porter, but it had felt like an eternity. It was not easy living among the rats of Old Andora, but they at least had decent fare for meals. Out in the wilds of Elazio, there was little for a guinea pig to eat aside from grass and the occasional flower. Not to mention the constant stream of predators that would rather have Gus as dinner than the pitiful field mice that he had seen along his way.

Luckily for Gus, he was rather adroit at a spell that allowed him to travel from one place to another in an instant. All he had to do was speak a short incantation along with the destination, and he would find himself there as if no time had passed. It would put him in Laketown days before Broderick, but it would give him a chance to taste the local fare and relax before his quarry returned. He had heard that there was a baker in Laketown that made an exceptional sticky bun.

When Gus the guinea pig winked from existence in a field outside of Old Andora and appeared in a similar field just outside of Laketown, the smell of baking bread filled the air. It made his stomach grumble.

"First thing's first," he said to no one in particular, "lunch."

The thought of sticky buns had so invaded Gus's mind that he failed to notice the polydactyl tortie calico cat that was lazing about on the roof of a nearby house, and was now looking at the guinea pig making its way toward town as if it was a moving sticky bun. The cat licked its slavering jowls and made ready to pounce.