Secrets untold, Lies unfold (Johnlock)

Chapter 2

Sherlock retracted himself from our bodies, which were bound together, and held both my shoulders with his frail hands. His tear-filled eyes layed upon mine, and knowingly I understood that he was trying to say how much he missed me. But he is Sherlock and just doesn't do emotions. 

I looked into his face, my mind was racing with questions but I wasn't even thinking at all. It was unconsciously going into over-drive while I stand here, unknowingly. But one idea popped up, it seemed fitting but also not.

'You...just..you. Why in God's name didn't you tell me! Your lucky to even have me here you ungrateful sod! Keeping yourself hidden away all this time knowing that I was alive and you are alive when I was stuck with believing you were dead and I was basically too! What were you thinking! I can't believe you!' I let my rage grow stronger and more visable as I gre deeper into the sentance, making sure every word was pronouced properly and they were meaningful.

His face was differing from shock to annoyance. Why is he annoyed! I'm the one that lost my friend for 2 years then suddenly he just pops up, trying to convince me that I am in fact NOT insane. 

'John...let's go home. I'll explain when we get there.'

'No! Sherlock, I want an explanation right now! I'm sick and tired of waiting! Or don't you understand? Us humans that show our feelings actually go through something called depression. It is a state inwhich nothing you do can improve your life, but you still carry on harming yourself and just generally being unhappy. And then on those rare occasions you feel strong enough to venture somewhere special to do something that you need to do, but just know that it will kill another small part of you that is left allive. Today...was one of them days, but then the last hope of you ever coming back was completely removed and I came to face the fact that you...were..gone' I was starting to splutter tears again, but I tried to hold myself in.

'John, ok. Ok John I'll tell you now.' He sighed and walked over to his tree and sat down. I followed him, trudging along the now dry grass to slide down next to him.

'John, when I was up on that roof I was with Moriarty. He has snipers at the ready to kill everyone dear to me, the few friends that somehow I can hold onto. I figured out that I didn't need to jump because if Moriarty was still alive then I could torture him until he called the snipers off. But that selfish coward...no...just selfish because he was never scared to put his life on the line and he...'

'Ok! Sherlock, dont get sidetracked' I missed having him yabbering but I was getting a bit cold under this swaying tree.

'Sorry...anyway. He decided that he will probably end up giving up under the torture I would give him so he took my hand and shot himself. That, was when I had to jump. To save the people I know....the people that...I love. If I didn't we all could have been dead in a matter of hours. So I jumped. But...of course. It was Moriarty so I was always at least 2 steps ahead of him in some aspects, therefor I knew I was going to 'die'. So I had an inside man...girl. Molly, her job is to work out how people die so she would have a fantastic memory of the human anatomy. I asked her for advice on how to fall. She gave me everything she could and I was so grateful for everything she did. And so, I was prepared.'

I sat there, staring at the other gravestones. Wondering if any of them could also be alive. If only they had they own Molly for their problems. I turned to Sherlock, satisfied with his explanation, and smiled. I gave him the best smile I could but I haven't been smiling for years so it could have been veiwed as a half hearted attempt and smiling.