I'm afraid
To fall asleep
Because I don't
Want to feel
That familiar
Sense of fear
When I am
In nightmares
With you
I'd rather stay
Awake to think
About you
And how much
It hurts
To not have
You around
And be afraid
Of losing you
But when I
Think of you
I can't stop
And I want
To tear the
Sky down like
Paper from
A wall and
Unhook the
Constellations
So they fall to
Earth and land
In my back
Yard pool
Sink to the
Bottom and turn
Cold as ice
Rearrange them
So they don't
Paint an image
That reminds me
Of you
So it doesn't hurt
And I don't cry
So much
But you still
Linger nearby
Tell myself
"I'm done"
And I know
Deep down that
Its a lie
You still
Torture me
All the time
Even more so
Now that the sky
Is blank and
Dark and scary
The shadows
Turn into figures
That resemble you
"I'm not afraid"
And that's a lie
I'm afraid to
Lose you
Please don't go
But I can't
Make you stay
I'm tired of
Being afraid
Even if I know
I could love
You best
I will always
Be afraid
That I can't
You'll always be
Afraid that I don't
"I love you"
And that is
Not a lie
But I'm afraid
Because some
Times I don't
Think I do
You say I don't
You know you
Can't love me too
"That's okay"
That's a lie
And I'm afraid
To fall asleep
Because I don't
Want to only
Dream of you
I want you
Here with me
So I don't have
To say that
"I'm not afraid"
I won't have to
Always lie
But that's okay
I do not need you
And those are
More lies.
