Over the Months (Homestuck Fan Fiction, GamTav)

Unhealthy

Another month passed. We were happy. There was bliss, and it seemed like everything in the world was alright.

And then, somehow, something happened. I found him in the bathroom one night, curled up on the toilet, bawling. He had a nightmare, he had said, about a girl with nails like claws who shrieked as he hit her.

I bit my lip, reassurred him that it was just a dream. But it did sound an awful lot like Nepeta, whom I had introduced him to days before.

And then I found him in the bathroom at Starbucks, smoking a joint with reddened eyes the next day. He had received a sound telling off and had slept on the couch.

I felt bad. I felt like our relationship was going downhill, like it was my fault. Aradia tried to talk to me and tell me that we could work it out, but I felt like we couldn't, somehow. I loved Gamzee too much at times. I got crazily overprotective, accused him of things I knew he hadn't done. My grades declined. Gamzee was later and later for work. We fought, argued, then fought again. But Gamzee kept taking his medicine; he wasn't about to go off the deep end. Me, on the other hand... well, I had picked up the bad habit of smoking cigarettes. One after one, I would flick them off the balcony, alakazam, bye-bye bad mood.

I spent hours rearranging food in the fridge, and got horribly nervous when Gamzee wasn't home on time. Gamzee was only at the supermarket getting faygo.

Mealtimes were terribly awkward. We ate in silence, me methodically picking peas off of my plate and Gamzee barely eating at all.

We ceased to make contact with friends, or Karkat. My family and his were left out of the picture.

We were toxic, and neither of us could end it.

We still loved.