Over the Months (Homestuck Fan Fiction, GamTav)

Closure (Epilogue)

A/N: Welp, y'all asked for it.

-PLB

It had been a month since Gamzee had hung himself in the back of that one Starbucks. I never went back. I heard from Aradia that Jade had quit working there. Too many bad memories, she had said. I myself had stopped buying coffee at that place. I even stopped walking past it to get to my classes. Maybe I should have moved on campus.

"Hey! Nitram!" a voice that I hadn't heard in months called from behind me. I manoeuvred myself around to see Karkat.

"Hi, Karkat," I said quietly. His eyes had bags under them, and he walked with a slouch. Far from the bright-eyed, angry guy I had seen when Gamzee was in the hospital. He was taking it rough, worse than me.

He nodded over at a Second Cup. "Coffee?"

I accepted. We walked in silence. We ended up at a window seat, people giving me pitying looks for my legs and me loathing them in silence. At the Starbucks I went unnoticed.

"He really liked you, kid," Karkat broke the silence. "He really fucking did. He met you, he met  people for a change, and he ended up offing himself." He laughed hoarsely. "I still blame you. I can't really be mad at you though, he babbled on about you a whole goddamned lot, and trust me, it was all good."

I noticed that he was tearing up. I hastily took a gulp of my drink. I couldn't deal with my dead boyfriend's halfbrother whom he was obviously close with.

"And here I am, crying. Fuck, I'm pathetic," he muttered angrily.

"I cried a lot," I confessed quietly. "At the beginning. It was my fault, for both him and Nep."

"No, it wasn't," said Karkat. "And it wasn't my fault, either. We're looking for someone to blame, but let's forget that. Promise me you'll move on, okay? I mean I'm a raging hypocrite and I probably won't, but you should."

I gave a half smile. "Not any time soon."

"I'll give you that. You're stronger than you look. I mean, my- Gamzee and my, that is- dad, everyone calls him Spades... His friends say he was in a gang when he was younger, but he's a big softy. The point is, it's okay to cry. You're a pretty cool guy, Tavros." He smiled crookedly. "So I want you to find a girl, or a guy, or neither or both, and move on."

I nodded, looking out the window. I would try to move on. I would miss him, and I would miss Nep, but I wouldn't let them drag me down. Not when I had finally begun to fly.