i hate myself

2.

Once upon a time,

There was a little girl name Luna

Who lived in a tower far, far away

Everyday she wept,

Flooding her room

One day she hoped that someday

Someone would rescue her

A handsome prince

or just

A boy

And she waited, and she waited

For the boy to come

"Good night, Luna, see you in a couple of weeks."

"Can I come daddy?"

"I wish I could, but I'm sorry."

"Awe."

"Hey, Luna, I promise to bring you loads of gifts."

"Yay, thank you daddy."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, daddy."

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"NO!"

"What is it, Pan?"

"M-Mommy and daddy are gone."

"I know, they went on a trip for a few weeks."

"No, no, no, they died, Luna, they were in a car crash."

"Why are you lying to me?"

________________________________

"Here lies, Mark and Cindy."

Crying, crying, crying

Why is everyone crying?

"Where is mommy and daddy going?"

"Far, far away."

________________________________

"AH!"

I felt a presence behind my back, It was Lane holding me, keeping my calm.

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay, just another nightmare."

But this wasn't a nightmare.

"Sorry."

"For what?"

"Waking you up."

"It's fine, I'm here."

I hugged him back, I felt safe with him. I should had listen to Pan. If it wasn't for Lane, I would get a panic attack.

"Sorry," I whispered into his chest.

"It's okay."

I should tell him. Everything. The panic attacks, cutting, trying to commit suicide.

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"What? why would I get mad?"

I'm afraid to lose him.

"I hate myself, everyday I want to kill myself. I go to therapy. I get the same nightmares over, and over again. I get a panic attack when I think about my parents. I get crappy shit in my head that I can't get out. Everyday I cry, because I feel like everyone is going to leave. I feel like I'm am not safe, anywhere. I don't know what I should do anymore."

It was silent, until, I felt a single drop down my shoulder. He was crying. I was too.

"You are not alone," he whispered, "because I'm here."

He kiss the top of my forehead, and rub the side of my arm for me to calm down. I slowly fell back to sleep.

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I woke up to a giant arm wrapped around my waist. I turned around gently so he doesn't wake up. He's cute when he sleeps. I want to kiss his little face, but I can't, we're just friends.

I didn't want to move. It was Saturday, so there isn't any classes today. I just want to lay down here all day. With him.

"Ugh."

"Morning."

"What time is it?"

"5:00," I said whispering.

"5:00!"

"Yup."

"It's too early, dammit!"

I chuckled. He isn't a morning person. So was I. I elbowed him in the stomach.

"Hey, dum dum, do you want something to eat? There's a vending machine outside the dorm room."

"There's a vending machine? WHAT THE FUCK!"

I laughed, "Yea, stupid, your dorm has it too."

"Never notice it before," he said sarcastically.

"Because you keep being distracted to ever notice it, you nerd."

"Hey, hey, I got a lot of stuff going on in my head."

"Yea, in nerd land."

"Well, true, but I don't always think about nerd land, if you know what I mean."

"Yea, yea, do you want food or not?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Shut up."

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I took my hoodie and headed out of my dorm and walk to the hallway. It's pretty dark. I didn't want to wake anybody up. If they do, they will fucking kill me, and I mean literally.

As I make it outside, I took out my money and placed on the vending machine. But before I could even put it in, I heard a strange noise behind me, breathing. I turned to see a man dressed in all black.

He grabbed my arm, and turned me around, covering my mouth with his hands. I tried to scream has loud I could but all came out was muffling. He pushed me into a ally way between the school building and the girls dorm.

What is he going to do to me?

He sent me down onto the ground and grabbed tape from his pocket. Taking a strip out, he placed on my mouth. And took another strip out and tied my hands together, leaving my legs free.

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! PLEASE!

He took my shirt of and my sweat pants, leaving me with my under wear. He only took his pants of, revealing his member. He ripped my panties off and my bra, too. Making me completely naked, shaking.

He hold me up, making me face the wall. He placed his member inside of me with no caution. He kept moving quickly. He time he moved, it hurt my gut. He pushed me into a different position in the ground, and kept grinding.

I am crying. I couldn't do anything. I feel dirty.

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He stopped. His fluids inside of me. Then he ran away. Leaving me like this. Crying.

someone help......