Things you can't ignore

- 4 - Bellamy -

I left Clarke's apartment and headed to the subway. I have to admit it, I was quite conflicted : on one hand, I was angry at myself for not being able to control my drinking, and control myself when I was drunk, but on the other hand, she was drunk too. And it seemed like she was angry at me, as if I was the reason for what happened.

I reached my apartment, and as soon as my phone connected to the wifi, I started to get notifications on Instagram and Facebook. Octavia, Raven and Monty, but also people I didn't really know started to post pictures from last night. I scrolled down, liked a couple of pictures, the funny ones mainly.

That was until I got a final notification. Octavia posted one picture of Clarke and I. It wasn't funny, or goofy, or weird. We were just standing, facing each other. Looking each other in the eyes. I never used to take care of this kind of things, but this picture clearly showed a certain connection. The way we're looking at each other isn't usual. I mean, I understand the way I am looking at her.

I began to have feelings for Clarke about one year after we met. At the beginning, I used to find her too strict, too reserved, not funny enough. Plus, I thought she didn't like me as a friend, so I didn't like her neither. It's only when our mom got sick, when she spent weeks at our place, taking care of Octavia and I, that I truly Clarke. The real Clarke, the one who cares about each one of us. The one who wants everyone to be happy and smiling. The who wants everybody to feel loved. While she was nearly living with us, we talked all lot. And we realized we had more in common than we thought. We became really good friends after that time, best friends even.

Our mom died after months of fighting against cancer. Octavia was already dating Lincoln, so she spent most of her time at his place. And I had Clarke. She organized a road trip to make me think of something else than the death of my mom. It was a short road trip, only a couple of days. That's when I started to have feelings for her. When she showed me I mattered to her.

As I said, I understand my look, my attitude on this picture. But Clarke... Her look isn't meaningless either. I can feel it.

With my birthday party next week, I have to fix things up before then. Cause I can't imagine myself celebrating my 26th birthday without her. But calling her straight away isn't the best thing I can do. So I decided to wait a couple of days. 

**** AUTHOR'S NOTE ****

Hey guys!!

Thank you so much for almost 100 reads, I truly can't believe it!

Hope you liked this chapter!!! 

Did you see the reference to "Day Trip" (season 1) scene??? :D

I'm gonna update really quick :D Leave me some comments and likes to show me you want some more :D

Go also check my other story if you want :)  It's not a Bellarke fanfic. But there are some feels too :D 

Thanks again

Xoxo

Laura