Kelly

Squirrel's Are No Help!

Chapter 2:

One thing I know really well, is how to get revenge. Ever since my mom literally dragged me in this therapy session with Dr. Earl, I’ve been thinking maybe if I could him off guard I could smash this chair over his head and throw his unconscious body out the window. Then I could sneak out and go to California and get my name changed to Lima Bean and get a job at a local Wal-Mart and live in a Hotel… Eh, it was just a thought.

This therapist is the only one I know that makes me want to jump in a Hurricane! He is annoying and not very smart. I say that because I’m pretty sure he got that Diploma made in china; hence the Made in China Sticker on the bottom of the freakin’ thing. Jeez at least he could have took the sticker off. Though out telling the story about my first day of school he repeatedly picked and sucked his teeth with his tongue. That was freakin’ gross and as soon as I got done telling the “Doctor” of my problems he told me that I have problems! What kind of help is that!? I am so going to sue!

When the session was over he tried to freakin’ shake my hand! I told him not in your life buddy.

Exiting Dr. Earl’s office I gave my mom a smirk she’ll never forget.

My mom knows me very well so she would be expecting me to get her back. But I’m going to get her good. *insert evil laugh here*

“How was the session sweetie?” my mom asked nervously, fidgeting in the blue uncomfortable waiting room chairs. Oh she knows I’m out to get her. She is probably remembering what I did last time she dragged me to this hell hole. Blue hair and a sharpie side burns fitted her well especially when she had an expecting photo shoot that morning. My dad is safe because he actually thought we were going out. He is lucky this time. He knows not to challenge me.

“The session was terrific Mother” I responded in a cheery tone. She cringed when I used the word mother. We sat there and stared at each other. I still had an overly fake smile on my face with my hands behind my back rocking on my heels back and forth and she had a nervous expression plastered on hers with a slight smile.

My dad broke up our little stare fest with a cough. “Um we should uh get going” my dad said getting up and exiting through the off white hallway from this awkward and uncomfortable situation.

The whole car ride home I didn’t say a word. I am planning faster than Gru and Dr. Nefario from Despicable Me ever could. My mom could tell because she was squirming in her passenger seat. I should turn her into a purple minion. Purple skin might just fit her maybe next time because I just got the most perfect idea! And no I’m not going to get any minions. Besides they don’t speak English and I’m an independent master mind.

As soon as my dad pulled into our driveway I quickly took off my seatbelt and ran into the house. I looked at the clock in the kitchen and it read 5:30. Perfect timing!

I rushed up the stairs only to miss a step and roll all the way back down. Just great! I got up and rubbed my now sore boob and muttered curse words as I crawled up the stairs like a hurt dog. I Got up on my two feet and walked the long and exhausting 10 steps to my room. I opened the door and looked around for my plan book.

“There it is” I said walking over to my night-stand and picking up the raggedy yellow and orange book with SpongeBob stickers all over it and on the front was ‘Devious Planning.’ Yeah I’m always prepared for some much needed revenge or just plain ole pranking. Anyway searching through the book for a new blank page, I began writing:

Reason for this: My mom sending me to Doctor Freakin’ Earl

Plan: To fill her room full of animals!