The Host of My Heart (On Hiatus)

Chapter 3

The few short blocks from the school to my house seemed endless as my conversation with Issen played over and over in my mind, like a cruel broken record. To be perfectly honest, I had no legitimate reason to be upset. A man that I’ve known for less than a day called me a crazy bitch, big whoop; I’ve been called worse by the old ladies on the train for taking an empty seat. But here I was dragging my feet and feeling sorry for myself.

I was pathetic, completely irrational and upset.

It was like my life was a poorly rated high school drama.

I was still feeling like crap when I burst lazily into my apartment, dropping my shoes, keys and workbag into a pile next to the door. My beeline to the fridge which, held an emergency pint of cookies n’ cream flavored ice cream, was halted as I nearly fell over a wayward shoe lying on my floor. I sighed as I picked it up. I certainly didn’t own a pair six inch bedazzled pumps, so it only meant one thing.

Hikaru was here.

I scooped up the shoe and its brethren and chucked them against the wall. “Hikaru!” I yelled, “How many times have I told you to stop leaving your things in front of the door?”

A faint voice answered me a few seconds later.

“Sorry! I thought the maid would get it!”

Maid?  Ugh, I wish I had a damn maid.

“There is no maid here Hikaru. I live on a teacher’s salary.”

I didn’t wait for answer, instead opting to continue to the fridge. After I plopped the ice cream pint on the table, I rummaged through my cabinets for a clean spoon. For a moment I thought about pulling out a bowl to eat, but decided that it was a straight from the carton kind of night.

I sat down and un-wrapped my therapy.

Yes, I eat my feelings. Yes, I know I have a problem. As my spoon lifted the first ball of sticky sweetness to my mouth, I heard Hikaru pad into the kitchen.

“I was thinking of going out to eat? What about you?”

“No thanks,” I said as I finally closed my lips around the spoon, “I’ve got my dinner right here.”

Hikaru picked up the pint of ice cream and grimaced. I frowned around the spoon in mouth and rolled my eyes. Another lecture from the health nut. I was seriously not in the mood for this.

“Ugh, Rika this stuff is just full of sugars and processed fats. This is the kind of stuff the gives you wrinkles and dry skin down the line. You shouldn’t put this garbage in your body.”

I snatched the pint back from her and slammed it down on the table.

“You must’ve mistaken me for someone who actually gives a shit.”

Hikaru looked physically shocked before glaring down at me. “Alright, just what is your problem?”

“What was the point of sending that guy out there to stalk me after school? All he did was act like a brat in an effort to squeeze more money out of your empty head.”

“You’re being totally ungrateful! I waste my time getting my dad to track Issen down, for you! I wanted to make you feel better!”

“But sending him? He was a total and complete asshole the whole damn time!”

“Jesus Christ!” Hikaru exclaimed, throwing her hands up into the air, “Issen was right, you’re a total thankless bitch!”

“I’m not being thankless, I’m being rational! Why would I thank you or that idiot for making me feel like shit? Does that make sense to you?”

“You know what? Fine, fine! Stay here, eat your processed garbage, live your life. Whatever! I’ll prove to you Issen didn’t mean to make you feel bad, just come down-“

“Oh forget it! Because of that stupid host club all of my work was ruined! I don’t have time to run around all night like some child okay? I have to work, like an actual adult.”

“You should get off your high horse before you get a nose bleed Rika. I certainly don’t think an adult would hole herself up in her house like a hermit, just because some irrelevant man called her a bitch once or twice.”

Shit, that cut deep.

“Whatever, I’ll just go. Shouldn’t keep you from your adult dinner of ice cream straight out of the carton.”

And with that last stinging observation, Hikaru turned and walked out of the kitchen, head held high. Like a winner. Hikaru was always the winner.

I pushed the carton of ice cream away and slumped on the table and flinched as Hikaru slammed the door on her way out.

I picked up that carton of ice cream and covered it before moving over to the fridge. As I frowned down at it, Hikaru words repeated themselves in my brain. I tossed it in the garbage. While finally changing out of my sweat moistened work clothes, I really thought about everything Hikaru said.

Everything Hikaru told me was scarily accurate. I truly was being a thankless bitch. Hikaru went out of her way to track down Issen and make him apologize and I couldn’t do anything but think of myself. I had a new workbag, a new cellphone, and almost everything was back to the way it was! I seriously made myself miserable for no reason! Like I was some idiotic glutton for punishment.

I bit my lip as my stomach churned in embarrassment. I always did this. I was a mess.

And it was nobody’s fault but my own.

Sighing, I retrieved the bundle of papers I had brought home and began grading in an effort of keeping my mind off my mistakes.

It worked for about three hours. I sat there marking up a student’s terrible spelling when I heard a faint sound. Like the mimicking of a dew drop hitting the water. I looked up but saw nothing so I ignored it. When the sound came again I stood my desk and walked over to where the sound kept coming from.

I realized that the sound was coming from my workbag. I had completely forgotten about the new phone that Issen had given me. I took out the phone and opened up the new messages.

Hey :) -Issen

Are you asleep? It’s so early? -Issen

And it went on and on. My palms began to sweat as I read the messages. What was Issen trying to do? Befriend me? What for? He had already apologized; he didn’t need to speak to me anymore. Just looking at the characters that made up his name made my stomach bubble nervously. Maybe Hikaru put him up to it?

I didn’t know what was happening. It scared me. The phone vibrated and pinged again, causing me to almost drop the phone in surprise. With shaking fingers, I opened the message.

Well, goodnight I guess, <3-Issen

I stared at the heart at the end of the sentence before shutting the phone off and putting it back in the bag.

I just wanted this day to be over and forgotten.