Angels soaring.

Go for it.

this part of the story is still Jason's pov
I held her there in the middle of a bloody floor. This bloodstained carpet. I sat down on the edge of her bed. I set her down next to me. She took my arm. "Oh, Jason," she said. "Why did you do this?" I sat there for a moment, thinking about the scars on her arms. "I wanted us to both have those scars," I said. "Not just you." She just kept shaking her head no. Over and over again. She looked up at me. "Jason, don't you ever do this again. Please. Don't ever hurt yourself like this." She stood up. "Come with me," she said. "I'll try to make them better." She took my hand and led me into her bathroom. She took out a brown bottle with a purple label. She got a soft washcloth and put some of the liquid into it. "This might sting a little," she said. She put the washcloth on my arm. It stung like fire, but I stayed still. She did this on both of my arms and wrapped them in some sort of bandage. She kissed my forehead and told me to follow her. We went back into her bedroom. She sat on the bed and I sat down next to her. She put her head on my lap and we sat like that for a long time. Suddenly she shot up. "Jason!" She said. "Huh?" She had startled me. She bit her lip. "Jason, I need to ask you something." she was playing with her hair. "What is it?" I asked. "Do you ever want.." Her voice trailed off. I was confused. "Do i ever want what?" I asked. "Do you ever want.. Me?" She asked. I still didn't understand what she meant. "What do you- oh!" I blushed at the realization. "oh.. Oh." I didn't know what to say. "It's okay if you don't want to answer," she said. I still didn't know what to say. My face felt hot. "Uh, sometimes." I said. My face felt like it was on fire. She blushed. "Do you want me now?" She asked. She was still playing with her hair. I swallowed hard. I ran my fingers through my hair, I was so nervous. "Uh," I paused for a second. "Yeah. I do." I put my arm around her. She placed her delicate hand on my cheek and turned my face towards her. She kissed me, and I kissed back. She put her arms around my shoulders and I put mine around her waist. Then I remembered. It was just like the first time I had kissed her. She broke the kiss and sat on my lap. She took her shirt off. I wasn't ready for this, I thought. I couldn't do this to her. I couldn't do this to myself. Then she kissed me again. She got off of my lap and lay on the bed beside me. "So?" She said. I couldn't do this. I had to back out. "Come here, idiot!" She pulled me on top of her. She wrapped her arms around me. I was scared. I didn't know what was going to happen, and I couldn't bring myself to do that to Ashlee. She was too innocent, too pure. Yet here she was, pulling me closer to her. I was on top of her, and she pushed me down. I fell on to her, and now our bodies were flat together. She stopped kissing me. "Jason," she said. "Are you sure you want to do this?" This was my chance. I could've backed out. Instead, "I'm sure," I said. What was I doing? I didn't know what had gone wrong with my head, but I definitely needed mental help. She pulled the sheets over us, and we were completely covered. She was careful of the bandages on my arms. Without even realizing what I was doing, I took off my shirt. It's like the sane part of my mind was gone, and only the crazy parts were left. She started to rub against me. I really was going crazy, because I had started to rub back. Our hips moved in unison, and Ashlee but her lip. My face felt like it was melting. I didn't know how this was happening. I was really doing this to Ashlee of all people. Suddenly, Ashlee let out a squeal and her hips started moving faster, so I did the same. She stopped and opened her eyes. She was sweating. I looked at her with wide eyes. She laughed and pulled my head against her chest. She started to move her hips again. She pulled my head up and kissed me. This felt wrong. This felt very wrong. She stopped kissing me and looked at me. "Jason?" She said. "Yeah?" I said. "Just go for it." She said. Her cheeks were red and she refused to meet my eyes. I didn't want to do this. Yet I did at the same time. I didn't want to do this to Ashlee, yet I wanted it for me. I had already done it before, and It felt so wrong. Finally, I decided that if she wanted it, it was okay. I went for it. I started to grind against her. She wrapped her legs around me. Now I felt really wrong. After a while we were both breathing hard. I started going faster until I felt a shock through my whole body. I zoned out for a few seconds. It was lost time. No feeling, no seeing, no breathing. I opened my eyes. I felt horrible. It felt so wrong. I felt guilty, but it felt so good at the same time. Ashlee's eyes were wide open. She was breathing hard and her cheeks were red. I kissed her. "I love you," I said. "I love you too," she said. We laid like that until we fell asleep. 'Go for it,' I thought.