Time OFF

One boring diary

Wake up. Eat. Go to work. Come back. Watch movies. Sleep. Repeat

Dear Diary,

I am starting this self-autobiography boredom killer book, because I find life so amazingly boring. My life is a chain of trivial mechanic activities that slowly kill me day by day and I cannot find the way out of this suicidal cycle. Looking at the blank pages gives me courage to pour my heart out. No idea how long I will keep these records of my non-essential existence and whether they will ever see the light of day. Strangely, right now I'm feeling more alive than usual. Describing a daily routine full of meaningless tasks and repetitive burdens is my favourite.

Day 1

07:00 – A hideous alarm ring reminds me that I have exactly an hour before the start of another remarkable shift. The perfect schedule is brushing teeth for 3 minutes, 6 minutes to gently exfoliate my skin and distribute the necessary amount of soap around my body, 16 minutes to prepare and consume a majestic breakfast, 5 minutes to polish my shoes like a gentleman, and then half an hour to arrive in front of a grey posh hotel. It never works like that! Walking through the big city is such a pleasant experience, being surrounded by dozens sickening odors, hurrying pedestrians who try to make their space through the crowds, at least two angry drivers starting a fight, and a sign saying welcome to heaven.

08:00 – I arrive in my sweet work, full of lovely colleagues and respected managers who just adore their jobs. The meaning of bloody nightmare is being a kitchen porter in one of the busiest hotels in Europe. My important responsibilities are pure and simple, clean as many disgusting dishes as possible for the shortest period of time. It is impossible not to cherish such an admirable and prestige position in our advanced society. Someone might say I'm a gloomy pessimist who never stops moaning about every little thing in life, and maybe that person will be right. Though, so many terrible things have happened to me, which is probably one of the reasons to be the miserable person I am today. The kitchen porter section is a place of hopelessness and suffering. A typical marvelous day consists of counting every remaining second while scraping the next stupid dish. Rotating throughout the day with other three idiots, yet, most of the time left alone with your melancholic thoughts. After ten hours of pain and torture, you are allowed to leave the sheer hell until the next time.

19:00 –Time to go back and watch a film in my hole called home. Back in the days, an original movie could leave me breathless. Today, the shiver of excitement is deeply buried in my soul together with any feelings of joy. My house has turned into a cold tomb where even the ghosts are sick and tired. The rats are lying lazily on a hammock, the party is over, and the neighbors are dead.

20:00 – I prepared an extraordinary fancy meal known as a frozen pizza for my humble dinner. Pure deliciousness! And after this soul orgasm I am ready to watch another mediocre movie. The disadvantage of seeing thousands and thousands of films is that you've seen everything at some point. The same scenario, the same lines, the same actors and directors repeat themselves over and over again. Where's the thrill in all of this? Two or three per night are usually enough to put me asleep. Then comes the next day which will be exactly the same as the last.

The most exciting thing that happened (METH) to me today is that a mosquito had too many shots of my blood and exploded.

Day 2

I am not going to write my daily routine again and again as that would be boring even for me. You already know it and I certainly do, so, I can talk about some other very intriguing stuff. Actually, I didn't introduce myself which is probably a lack of manners and good breeding. To be completely honest, my name is exceptionally boring which keeps me from revealing it. Call me John Johnson or Peter Peterson if you wish, at least, these are some cool names. Currently, I am approaching the forties, a milestone that gives me more reasons for self-loathing. Going bald and getting a beer belly are some of the bonuses you receive as a gift. My social life is practically non-existent, the lack of friends and family is a result of my peculiar character which pushes all the people away from me. Having unconventional views and ideas can separate you from society and force you to avoid human contact. People say being a loner gives an opportunity to explore wonderful worlds, but in reality loneliness only brings sadness.