Struggling Through New Beginnings

Chapter 34

"No,
no, no," Draco said as he readjusted Hermione's arm. Then he added with a teasing
smile, "You have to wiggle your arm a bit more. You know. Like a WORM!"

Hermione she rolled her eyes at him and lowered her arm, "You've been just
waiting to use that, haven't you, you prat?"

"For weeks," he laughed and nodded.

"Feel better now?" she asked around the smile she was trying to hold back.

"Not yet," he shook his head. "Maybe one or two...hundred more times and I will."

Hermione shook her head and let the smile come. Then she lifted her arm to
continue practicing the charm movements they'd been working on for the better
part of an hour. They'd met in the all-house common room a couple of hours
after dinner to continue to work on their Charms project as they'd been doing
for the past couple of weeks.

"I can't believe you held out that long," she commented after a minute. "I was
sure you would find a way to tease me about it quite soon after Daddy said it."

Draco looked at her face as she concentrated on her movements and tilted his
head thoughtfully, "Hermione?"

"Yeah?" she asked distractedly as she flicked her wrist just-so.

He blew his hair back off his face and asked, "You don't mind, do you? That I
still tease you a bit sometimes?"

Her curls swung back and forth as she shook her head, "No, Draco. You don't do
it the same way you used to. You're not..."

He watched as her arm stopped moving for a fraction of a second and she winced
a little. Then she blew out a breath and went back to practicing as if nothing
had happened.

When she didn't seem to want to finish the sentence he prompted her quietly,
"What am I not?"

Hermione dropped her arm and turned her head to look at him seriously as she
sighed, "I was going to say you're not mean any more."

"And? I thought that would be a good thing." He made it sound like a joke, but
the look in his eyes, the tightness of his features and the tension in his body
made his vulnerability clear to her.

"It is," she smiled a little at him. The she moved over to sit next to him on
couch. They had taken over a quiet corner near the back and as it was so late,
there were very few students in the large room with them.

"I just didn't want to bring all that back up again," she confessed, her hands
clenched her lap. "I mean, things have...I mean we've been..."

He reached out and put his hand on her clenched ones and her eyes met his. This
time though, when her eyes dilated, he wasn't worried that it was fear and
smiled a little at her. "I was an ass, Hermione, and I know it. I also know
everyone's waiting for me to go back to being that guy. But, I promise you,
this is me now. I have no desire to hurt anyone anymore, especially not you."

"I know," she almost whispered. Then she cleared her throat and broke eye
contact to glance around nervously, "But, you're...and I'm...Gods! This is
ridiculous! Why do I get so stupid around you?!"

Draco was shocked when she surged to her feet, put her fists to her eyes in
frustration and actually stamped her foot as she continued, "This is
ridiculous! I am an intelligent woman, dammit! I know
how to make full sentences and I even use the big words. I am the most
accomplished witch in this school and I can't even do a simple spell around you
without my hands shaking! I liked Ron for years and never had trouble with my
school work!"

Then she whirled on him and her angry eyes met his confused ones, "Why does
being alone with you do this to me, now? You never affected me before. Now, I
sound like a twittering, giggly idiot! I can't complete a damn thought. You
look at me with those eyes and I get lightheaded, for Merlin's sake. Everything
I know just flies away and I'm tired of it! This has to stop. I'm acting
like...like Lavender!"