A Christian Teenager

Boy, its illegal.

I'm not a good person. I mean I'm not as bad but I'm just not good.
Obviously nobody is completely good but things I've done are selfish and shameful.

All my life I was used to being liked.
So whenever someone would admit their feelings for me, it wouldn't be a surprise. I'm not trying to sound stuck up, but I've always tried to grow up so fast that I suppose this would happen.

Guys from church have liked me. Mostly the youth. I'm a youth helper.
I get the information from the new comers and welcome them in the best most friendly way! Anyways, there was this particular boy that was new in 2013. I was obviously 13, soon to be 14. I believe he was 17 (it's from ages 12-17)
That boy would look at me often his first day. I was obviously not bothered only slightly uncomfortable.  I left the class right after it ended. I rushed to the main hall with my cousin and we sat on a bench waiting for the actual service to be over. That boy came up to my cousin and I, he sat right next to me. He was rambling and I thought he was really weird. But he left as soon as he realized I was uncomfortable.

Months passed and soon it was Mid July of 2014. I had a chatting app called Meow Chat. He some how found me on it and started chatting with me. He would hint me about the girl he liked, that she was from church and her name started with an M (Me Marla). He gave up and confessed his feelings for me.  But I was 14 and he was soon to be 18. I found that really inappropriate and I didn't think I'd ever be comfortable around him.

He told me not to tell anyone but it was too late because my cousin knew and soon most of my family. So my family began trying to engage into his life. I obviously didn't like him the way he liked me. But my family liked him and the bonded with him and they all loved him. I was being pressured into dating him or something by my family, I began to dislike him a lot. Many times, my family blamed me for him being sad. They never thought that maybe I was uncomfortable around him. He turned 18 quick enough and it was clearly illegal and to me, unacceptable.
My mom would always tell me that age doesn't matter since my father is 12 years older than she is. But age does matter! My mom dated my dad when both were at a LEGAL age.  But with this kid, everyone was against me.

My 15th birthday came on November 29,2014 and my mom made me a little surprise party after we got home from shopping all day. She invited church friends, guess who else was a church friend? You guessed it! The boy.
This boy was literally crazy for me. He was basically in love. These months before my birthday, he tried to hit me up and wonder why I hated him. I always would let him down in the most selfish manner without considering his feelings. That's the worst thing I've ever done to such a good person. He was so good and nice and sometimes creepy to me. But I treated him like he scum on Earth. Anyways on my 15th birthday, he gifted me very much. He gave me flowers and much cash. He fixed something on my computer and he was always good.

Just recently I apologized. I told him I was sorry for being a horrible inconsiderate human being. For putting myself first and not caring for his feelings. But no, I don't like him the way he liked me.