A Christian Teenager

"Karma"

Karma. K-a-r-m-a. Karma.
The word that struck my life like a lightning bolt.
The flashes of regretful memories forever in my mind. Karma isn't real though, don't believe that.
"Karma" is just a human excuse to as why bad things happen to us.

After my first kiss, I was crazy, especially during that same month of September. I quickly kissed another guy, not even a week after my first kiss.
And then, about a week later, I began talking to this guy that had liked me when I was a freshmen and he was a sophomore. But now I was a junior and he had graduated early.

To me, he was a beautiful boy.
Tall, gorgeous brown eyes, great intelligence, and big plump slightly pink lips. Once we started talking, I thought things were going good, and that we were serious about each other, I sure was serious about him. And then his best friend dies in a car crash. This isn't my story to tell, but the guy I'm talking about, the beautiful boy whom we'll call "Robert", he told me that his friends and him had a saying that if you were in the passenger seat and wore a seatbelt you were a wuss.

When Robert told me that story, my heart literally crumbled. The days went by, and they had a funeral for his best friend. May he Rest In Peace, and may the lord have him in his Glory. Robert's best friend was very loved. So many people loved him, he was loved. Robert and I couldn't hang out.

I didn't care though, I didn't care about me, or what I wanted, all I cared about was Robert and how he was feeling and how he was mending. I cared about the memories he had of his best friend that might had kept his mind entertained up all night, wishing he would re-live them. I cared if he remembered to eat and hoped he wasn't too sad to remember.

We did end up hanging out one day, during my school time, I ditched to go to the clinic with Robert because he always went with his mom and never alone, and this would have been his first time alone if I hadn't gone. It was kind of awkward but it made me more serious about him. After the clinic we went out to eat, and after we ate, we just sat awkwardly in his car until he made a move.
And he kissed me, and we kissed, for minutes, the longest time in his car kissing. But we finally drove off because I had to be back in school soon. While we were driving, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. Of course I wanted to be his girlfriend. I wanted to love him, but he didn't believe in God and that was a big issue for me. But I ignored it that day.

I really had to pee, so he offered to go to his house since it was near by where we were, and as the naive 16 year old that I was, I agreed to go! Back at his house, (after I peed) he was waiting in his room sitting on his bed. (I'm so stupid) And he literally tapped on the bed, a spot next to him and I was puzzled but I still sat down. And we started kissing again. And soon enough I was lying down on his bed and him on top of me kissing. We were just kissing. For minutes and I was a little worried because of the time and how I had to be back in school. Then I broke it off and I told him we had to get me to school soon. I saved my virginity so fast man, like I basically rushed out of there.

As I was back in school, lipstick grossly messed up, I cleaned up and headed to the gym for the assembly because it was game day for my school, the first football game of the year. And I spotted Robert, my "boyfriend" I guess at that time, he was over with his friends, and I was with mine, I basically ended up telling them that he was my boyfriend and my friends weren't thrilled but they weren't not happy for me.
Take note that when Robert liked me during my freshmen year, I basically rejected him and didn't treat him like a decent human being. He was just another boy toy to me then, it didn't matter.

The next day, I woke up to his messages, and he had texted me that he was falling for me bad, and this cute stuff, I didn't expect what was happening next.
After he got out of the shower, he texted me, he said that he wasn't ready for a relationship, that he needed time to go explore the world with his friends and have his freedom. That his friend convinced him that he needed time, and that I was an amazing girl but we were too young and this load of crap.

The truth is, his friends didn't like me, they would talk bad about me in their group chat, and I figured this out because I had a friend in that group chat and he told me about it. It's so pathetic how people let other people influence them on what to think of a person.

I had been posting on twitter and I was sad but I understood, and then he @'s me "karma". Karma for the time he liked me during my freshmen year and I treated him like he meant nothing to me.

All I can do now, after almost a year is let go of the anger this brought me, and I pray for him, I forgave him, a long time ago. He didn't and probably still doesn't believe in God almighty. He was influenced by opinions. And he called "karma" something he had done himself. His intentions were to hurt me, he was actually going to sleep with me then leave me. But this brain and God saved me from that pain. I wasn't going to sleep with a guy I didn't love either. I'm actually saving myself till marriage but that's another story.

Pray for the ones that may have bad intentions for you, spread love and not evil.
Pray for them no matter what they did to you, you'll be good and maybe something could happen and they could be saved.