I Can't Keep Pretending

Chapter 14

Tessa

As soon as Taylor opened the door I grabbed her into a hug while sobbing my eyes out.

"Oh my gosh Tessa what's wrong? Why are you all wet?" When it was clear I wouldn't be able to answer a question coherently for a while Taylor pulled me inside.

After a few minutes of my crying filling the room I finally got a handle on my emotions.

"Um Taylor can I borrow some clothes?" I whispered quietly.

"Yeah as soon as you tell me what's going on?" She asked looking really confused.

"I went out with Christian tonight, and everything was great. Then he had to go and ruin it! I-I h-he told me he was I-in love with me! Why would he do that? Especially when I need him the most! W-who will help me with my mom now?" I shouted starting to cry all over again.

"Woah Tessa slow down. Please I know this is hard but can you start from the beginning?" She asked looking at me with concern.

So I told her everything from my mom's news all the way to the conversation Christian and I just had. Through out the while thing Taylor remained silent not even her facial expression giving anything away. Finally once I finished she spoke.

"Why didn't you tell Christian you love him back? And don't even try to deny it! A blind person could see the love you have for each other. I don't know how two people could be more perfectly made for each other and be too dense to see it! Do you know how many women out there would be stopping at nothing to get a guy like Christian to love them, and here you are, someone who didn't even have to try and your throwing it all away because your scared to get hurt!" She ended breathing heavily.

I flinched from her words. Some where in the back of my mind I knew what she said was completely right, but that stop the hurt from surfacing. All I keep thinking was 'She isn't even on my side.' And that hurt.

"I'm sorry that was harsh Tessa. I'm sorry about your mom Tessa I really am, and I know you're hurting and confused, but Christian would take his own life before hurting you on purpose." She added.

"Yeah he feels that way now, but what about in ten years or twenty? Huh! Will he still love me than? I don't know if he will even love me as much as he does five years down the road, and that's what scares me. Giving him my heart and having him break in a few years! And you know I haven't exactly has a male fixture in my life EVER so sorry if I'm a little weary of relationships! Look I don't want to fight with you okay? After the day I've had can't you just be there for me?" I asked Taylor realizing how tied I was. All I wanted to do was get into dry clothes and go home to sleep.

"You're right I'm sorry. I'll go get you some dry clothes and take you home okay?" She asked an I simply nodded my head as an answer.

Once I was in dry clothes Taylor and I headed to my house in her car.

"Thanks for taking me home and just listening. You're a great friend Taylor and I really love you for always being there."

"No problem Tessa, but we both know its not the same as Christian." She said glancing over at me.

Gosh I know she is just trying to help but every conversation we've had all night has led back to Christian and this is the one time I just don't want to think about him.

"I can't think about that right now okay Taylor. I don't know what's going to happened to Christian and I, but whatever does is what I'm going to have to live with. So please just let's not talk about him till I figure this out."

The rest of the car ride was silent. I pretty much gave up trying to make conversation after that. Finally we pulled into my driveway and I hopped out of the car, and so did Taylor.