the dorm // joshler

fourteen

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!
rape//self-harm//suicide attemps// drug/alcohol abuse//abuse// stay safe my frens |-/

tyler and i are eating our food at taco bell. hearing his content breathing and chewing makes me calm. we've been talking about random ass shit for about 45 minutes when we were finally done. we got up and threw all our trash away and hopped into my car.

"tyler, we're going somewhere tonight."

he looked at me with confusion. "um, okay? where are we going?"

"you'll see" i said with a slight smirk.

the rest of the car ride was quiet. when we got to our dorm, i walked over and kissed his cheek. "we're leaving at 8".

he walked away and i immediately started panicking. i pull my phone out and text gerard spastically.

to: Gee
CAN I BORROW YOUR PICKUP TRUCK TONIGHT?!?!?!?! AND SOME PILLOWS AND BLANKETS?!?!?!?!?!

from: Gee
sure pal, but use protection ;)))))

i laughed a little as i walked into the building and headed towards gerards room. when i got there he swung the door open and greeted me.

"we aren't having sex, gee." was the first thing i said to him.

"okay, whatever." he said with an unconvinced face. he handed me 4 pillows and 2 large duvets.

"thanks again!!" i called before i walked out of his room and put the pillows and blankets in the back of his truck. i looked at the time on my phone.

7:58 it read. i walked into the living room area of the bottom floor and saw tyler sitting there.

"you ready?" i asked. he nodded and grabbed my hand. we walked to the truck and when we reached it, he looked at me strangely.

"why are we taking gerards truck?".

"it works better for what we're doing tonight." i said with a big smile. we drove to the place in relative silence, except for tyler asking me where we were going. finally, after 45 minutes, we reached our destination.

it was a little clearing in a circular shape of trees, with a cliff looking out over a beautiful lake. i got out and tyler followed. i set up the blankets and pillows and tylers eyes widened.

"josh, this is so... calm, and peaceful. i love it." he said, coming up to me and hugging me. we got up onto the back of the truck and tyler rested his head on my chest. we stared at the stars for an hour in comfortable silence. but ever since that night, when tyler had the horrible 'nightmare', i have so many questions.

"hey, u-uh, ty?"

"yes, josh?" he said looking up at me.

"what's your story?"

he sat up and looked me straight in the eye.

"well, u-um, my name is tyler robert joseph, i'm 20 year-" i cut him off.

"no, your REAL story. the story no one knows." i know he knew exactly what i was talking about. he audibly swallowed and looked at me again.

"i had a great family. my brother was an amazing big brother, he would never get mad when i would try to do what he was doing, he never yelled at me, he even taught me how to play basketball. when i was 12, my mom got in a car accident..." his voice trailed off and i saw a tear fall down his cheek. "she passed, and my dad and my brother took it pretty hard. my dad got into alcohol. if he wasn't at the bar drinking, he was at home drinking something. then, my brother got into drugs. pretty hardcore drugs too, like meth and shit. and sometimes, he would get drugs that he couldn't pay for. so he- he -u-uh..." he closed his eyes and squeezed them really tight. "he used me to pay off his debt. this resulted in me starting to be scared of everyone.. including my brother. i was 13 the first time he hit me. i cut myself for the first time that night. when i turned 15, i got a boyfriend. he was amazing. he was so loving and nice. or so i thought. it turns out he was abusive and just used me. i swallowed a whole bottle of pills to get away from him, but i lived. and he beat me for trying to leave him. but in all this pain, i had one friend. his name was alex, and he was awesome." tyler chuckled sadly. "he helped me get away from my boyfriend, and even gave me half of the money i need to go to college my first year. i still talk to him everyday, and he goes to Georgia Tech, for biomedical engineering. anyways, i came here, and hoping i could forget about my past, but you can't forget about your highschool years."

tyler took off his shirt, and i looked at all the scars that littered his body. the were all up and down his arms, and across his stomach. i ran my fingers along them and looked up at tyler with tears in my eyes.

"promise me.. you'll never do this again. please."

"i can't promise you that josh." my heart shattered.

"when is the last time you... ya know..."

"um, yesterday."

"will you at least promise me, that you'll try." i said with a hopeful tone to my voice.

"that, joshua dun, i can promise you." he said with a smile. i sat up
and kissed him, sweetly and gently.

i lied down and tyler rested his head on my chest. tyler whispered, barley audible, but i heard it right before i fell asleep,

"thank you, josh."

HAHAHAHAHA I CRIED WHILE WRITING THIS GTG