the dorm // joshler

twenty-five

**the rest of the story will have tyler & josh pov*** (only 5 more chapters)

trigger warning!!!
self-harm

josh pov
tyler was doing so good. he was about 3 months clean, or so i thought. last night, i was driving past the bridge over the river last night and saw tyler leaning over the side. i got out to get him, and saw the numerous new scars litering his forearms. he cried into my arms for hours, until he fell asleep. i picked him up and put him in my car and drove us to a motel, because i didn't want anyone being suspicious of tyler.

now, it is 6 am, and i can not go back to sleep. i look over and see tylers tear stained face, and his mouth slightly opened. hes letting out little snores and i can't help but smile. he's so perfect.

he stirrs a little in his sleep and slowly opens his eyes. he smiles at me then looks down at his bandaged wrists and frowns.

"i am really sorry." he said without looking me in the eye.

"why did you do it? i mean, why did you keep doing it, after you told me you would stop?"

"blurryface." his voice quivered a little as he said this, he sounded scared.

"what?" i asked confused.

"blurryface. he's the voice in my head, all my insecurities, all of my problems. he told me to do it." a tear slipped down his cheek.

"why do you listen to him?"

"i don't have a choice!" he raised his voice slightly. "he makes me do it, he torments me until i do what he wants."

"tyler," i reach my hand over and try to wipe his tear away, but he slaps my hand away.

"NO!" he yells at me. "stop feeling pity for me. i'm sick of everyone always being sorry. i don't even think they mean it anymore. i don't think you mean it anymore." he got up out of the bed and started walking towards the door.

"tyler! no, come back! i promise, i swear i am! please come ba-" the front door slams shut and hes gone.

i squeeze my eyes shut and clentch my fists. "tyler, please. please come back." i whisper to myself. i lay down onto the bed at let the sobs take over my body. i feel my legs and arms shaking and my head is pounding.

"please, tyler. stay safe. for me."

•••

*underlined is blurry talking

tyler pov

i ran. all i did was run away. i tried to run away from my problems. from josh. but this never works. i come upon the forrest, and keep running. i run until i get into the ever so familiar clearing. as i walk into the spot, i smile as i remember i took josh here. my smile immediately fades as i remember that i left him.

why do you keep running from your problems?

"stop, not now."

you're going to have to face them some time. all you're doing is delaying the inevitable.

"i said, not fucking now."

now, come on tyler. you know i always get my way.

i reach into my pocket and pull out my razor. i gently press it to my wrist and feel a warm tear slide down my cheek.

"why, why? w-why do you want to torment me so much? why do you always get you're way?"

i press harder each time. the cuts that used to be light and delicate, are now becoming hard, sloppy, and deep. i look up from my wrist and see that everything is turning a black color. everything is dying around me... including me.

i cried while writing this rip