The Collision Theory | Remus Lupin

25. And Now We Wait...

LILY

It's been an hour, waiting outside of the wing with the boys, and we'll probably get detentions for skipping class, but this is more important.
I have to stay strong, not just for myself, but for Remus, who hasn't let go of my hand since I got here, his bottom lip trembling in an attempt to stop himself from crying.

"She'll be fine." James says for the hundredth time in a row, wringing his hands. He pulls his knees up to his chest, smiling weakly at me.

"Yeah, of course." I put my free hand over his, squeezing it, "This is Novak we're talking about, she fell off of a bloody broom and she's still kicking."

"Compared to that..."

I turn my attention back to Lupin, "Moony, come on. She wouldn't want you to be like this."

He watches as Potter crosses the corridor to where Black is brooding, staring at his bloodstained hands, before he faces me, "Lily, I can't lose someone like her, it's like God is constantly taking away what I don't deserve."

"You deserve no less than anybody else here."

"Lily you don't get it." He lets a tear fall, "She deserves more, and everyone I love just ends up being hurt. I'm scared that if I love her something bad will happen."

"Oh my God you like..." I gasp.

"I'm ugly, she's beautiful. Talented. Intelligent. I have nothing to offer her." He exhales shakily, "I just want her to be happy, but apparently I don't even deserve that one wish. I'm a walking curse."

"Remus John Lupin you most certainly are not." I frown, wiping his cheek with my sleeve, "Never have I met such a charming young man in my life, you're as good-looking as Black or Potter, and you're much kinder."

"You just called James hot." He laughs weakly.

I swat his hand, "You know what I mean."

*

It's almost five o'clock and still no word from Pomfrey. A doctor came rushing past us at one point, briefcase in hand, and despite Black's best attempts, we couldn't get in. Peter got us a few snacks, but no-one's touched the food.

Suddenly the door opens, revealing the nurse, her apron stained in what I hope isn't blood but just something else that's red, "You all waited?"

"Yes." We all reply at once.

"We've done our best." She pauses momentarily, avoiding our gaze. The few seconds feel like an eternity that churns my insides, "The damage was extensive."

"But is she breathing?" Remus snaps, which takes us all by surprise.

"She needs to rest." Pomfrey's words make my chest lighten, "Hopefully she'll be up and about in a week."

"Can we see her?" Black jumps up, "Please?"

"I suppose..." she sighs, letting us through. We practically scramble to the bed Aylin lies in. Her arms are bandaged all the way, and there are bandages peeking out from under her hospital shirt. Other than that, she looks peaceful, asleep almost rather than knocked unconscious, her shoulder-length brown hair spilling over the pillow.

"Our Lin's not really one for luck is she?" Sirius jokes, pulling up a chair from one of the vacant beds. I force a smile, sitting beside my best friend and taking one of her hands in mine.

Now we wait.

*

REMUS

There's an air of suspense as we sit around the bed. Padfoot is muttering to himself like a madman, and I can occasionally hear the odd obscenity.
He's a human bomb in this state, and I'd be wise to not agitate him.

Prongs just stares blankly at the bedside table, rubbing his eyes time to time in a state of utter exhaustion.

I feel worst for Lily, who looks at Lin as though she'll wake up any minute now.

So for now, we wait.

*

AYLIN

Mum always told me not to be afraid.
Not to be afraid of life.
Not to be afraid of death.
But I'm scared now.
Terrified even.
I don't want to leave Miriam, my new friends, the life I take for granted.
I want to stay but the darkness around me is paralyzing, surrounding every part of me as if I have jumped into the black lake.
But it's so calm here, I don't have to think about war or death or exams.
I can fill my head with nothing...
No.
No I have to keep a hold.
I have to drag myself back to reality, I have to-

"I'm so sorry Lin." A voice pierces the thundering silence like a knife. It's gravely and deep, like the owner hasn't slept, "Please just wake up now."

"Remus?" I call out, trying to cling to his voice as if it were a physical thing, "Remus!"

"Please." He begs, and in the numbing cold, my hand feels warm.

"Remus." The enveloping darkness lightens, and is replaced with... navy?
What the?..
The window opposite me looks out into the night sky, a few stars visible in the almost-black cobalt sky.

"Lin?" Remus' voice is hoarse.
"Re..."

I blink a few times, adjusting to the dark, and there he is, clasping my hand like it's life support, "Oh my God you're alive!"

"Why wouldn't-" I'm cut short by what is probably the tightest hug in my life. I want to protest but... I feel safe in his arms. So I let it linger a little, taking in the warmth and scent of chocolate.

"We were worried sick." He laughs, pulling back. I smile at the other four, who are all sleep. Lily frowns as she nestles deeper into James' shoulder, probably insulting the boy in her dreams.
Sirius has faceplanted on the foot of my bed, snoring softly.
Peter is curled up in his chair, clutching the blanket he has over himself. Remus smiles, still not letting go of my hand,"Please don't do that again."

"Takes a beating for you to talk to me?" I raise an eyebrow at him, making him shift in his seat.

"I don't know what you mean."

I squeeze his hand, "Remus you know we're friends right? You can trust-"

"Aylin?" I snap my attention to the redhead who's just woken up, yawning.

I wave at her, as if nothing happened, "Fancy seeing you here Evans."

She laughed at me, "You've made this a habit."

"Made what a habit?"

"Getting into trouble." She hugs me so tightly that Remus' feels weak compared to this bearhug.

My mother told me never to be afraid, and with friends like these, I feel invincible.