The Collision Theory | Remus Lupin

22. Words That Hit Close

I don't see the boys for a whole day, which is rather odd side they'd at least say hi or something. Remus was let off yesterday after lunch but avoided talking to me or even being in the same section of the library, further confirming my suspicions.
I'll ask him when we go to Hogsmeade, but he might just shrug it off again-

"Aylin!" Someone calls from behind me, their voice indistinguishable from the panting.

I turn around to see Severus Snape sprinting down the corridor, "Aren't you supposed to be with your Pureblood friends?"

"Aylin please," He grips my arm a little too tightly than is comfortable, "Just talk to Lily for me?"

"Why?"

"You know why."

"You don't love her."

"I do." He says sternly.

"There's a difference between obsession and love."

"Lin-"

"She made it clear she didn't want anything to do with you when you were camping outside the common room," I try to pull my arm away, failing miserably, "which by the way, was a pretty stalkerish move Snape. Now get off."

"But I'm sorry for-"

"Calling her the M-word and betraying her?" I spit, "Forget it Snape, you insult her, you insult me."

"But," his voice drops, sounding almost broken and feeble, "I thought we were friends."

"Were acquaintances," God his hold is gonna bloody bruise my arm, "with only one mutual friend. Now let go of my arm and run along to your chemistry set."

"You don't know what's coming." He hisses, pushing my arm out of his hands as if it burns him.

"Is that a threat?"

He turns back the way he came, pausing momentarily before he turns the corner, "Consider it how you wish, Blood Traitor."

"Real mature Snape." I roll my eyes, unaffected by name-calling by now.
It's not like he can do anything.
Can he?

*

The air is tense when I get to dinner, though maybe it's just me. Lucius sits with his lot, which consists of the likes of Severus, Avery, the Carrows, and a sheepish Regulus Black, and the lot of them are talking excitedly, sparing generous glances to our part of the Gryffindor table.

"You alright?" Dorcas pulls me out of my daze, the only yellow-clad in a sea of red, apart from another Hufflepuff girl sitting on Sirius' left side.

"Hmm?" It takes me a moment to zone myself out of the thoughts in my head and go back to the real world, "Oh... yeah, I'm good."

"You looked like you were about to kill someone there for a moment." Lily raises an eyebrow, absently stabbing at the meatball on her plate.

"Only the usual psychos."

"Speaking of psychos," Alice leans in slightly, a smith posted on her face that spells gossip, "you won't believe who I came across today."

"Who?" Lily, Emmeline, Dorcas, Marlene and I chorus.

"Well, I'd just left the library when someone grabbed me," her gaze flicks momentarily over Lily's shoulder, and suddenly I know who this person is, "I turned around and-"

"Let me guess, Snape?" Lily sighs, sounding more resigned than ever, yet there's a slight twinge of amusement as she then asks, "You did give him a kick in the balls from me right?"

"It was a pitying sight," Alice sighs dramatically, "poor kid snivelling and grovelling at my feet, but eventually..."

"Yes?.." We find ourselves drawing closer again.

"I told him to stick his wand where the sun don't shine."

*

"Hello Novak."

I turn around finding Sirius strolling up to me, and glance back to see the same Hufflepuff girl at dinner watching us with a curious look, "You shouldn't just leave people like that."

"S'okay, that was Rissy's stop." He grins, but the smile fades when I don't return the favour, "What's wrong?"

Honestly? Everything. Sirius doesn't need to know that, "Just tired. You boys have one of your adventures again?"

"Oh, yeah." His spirits perk up again, "Been busy orchestrating a prank."

"Ah okay, maybe that's why Remus seemed preoccupied." I drop the hint, though Sirius hasn't always been one for subtleties, "And I thought I did something to piss him off."

"Nah," He shrugs my comment off, "kid's been trying, err... to find loopholes for us so he can't tell us off with prefect responsibilities and whatnot."

"Alright then." I turn the corner to Ancient Runes, "Thanks for accidentally walking me to class Sirius."

"It was my accidental pleasure."

*

Perhaps it's instinctive, maybe it's the maternal fussing I've seemed to have inherited from my mother showing, but a weight sits on my ribs, a constant reminder that Miriam is somewhere before sea level, out of my reach where I could have kept her safe.

The next morning I wait by the entrance of the Great Hall, alert for the sight of my sister's unruly dark curls in the crowds of students filing in for dinner.

"What are you doing Novak?" Lily frowns, having gotten up from the table.

"Searching."

"For?.."

"Miriam." I use her for support as I stand up on my toes for a better view. She steps back, and I almost trip over myself as my support is taken away from me, "Really?"

"Really." She cracks a grin, "I'll save you some toast?"

"Thanks." I watch briefly as she walks to sit back down, then turn back to my searching. There, it off the corner of my eye, is Miriam, walking a few steps back from a group of first years, "Mim!"

"I'm busy." She didn't look up from the floor, trying to weave in to the crowd, earning a sneer from an older student. I grab her wrist, pulling her back as she yelps, "Aylin!"

"Shush. Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Miriam stares just past my left shoulder refusing to make eye contact. She's holding back, I can feel it. There are faint dark circles under her eyes and a puffy look that tells me she's been crying.

"Was it Snape?" I push back a curl that's gotten loose from her plait, but she shrugs my hand away.

"Why would you care?"

"Why would I?!" I fail to keep my voice down, and a passing Hufflepuff jumps in fright, "Because I'm your-"

"Sister, right." Miriam spits, making my chest burn with every word, "A sister that didn't realize her own stubbornness will get everyone she knows hurt. You're selfish."

"I don't understand."

"By refusing Snape help, do you know what you're started?" Her voice drops to a whisper, but the venom in her voice is no less, "Has it crossed your thoughts that Severus takes out his anger after an argument? Have you ever thought of collateral damage?"

"You're blaming me for defending a friend?!"

"You choose her over me basically."

"I didn't think-"

"Exactly, you didn't think." Then come the words I didn't think I'd ever hear, "I wish you weren't my sister."