The Collision Theory | Remus Lupin

71. Sorry

The cries last hours.

Sobbing, scrambled, screaming cries. 
I hold on to Peter, feeling utterly useless. There's silence. We listen intently, and I can hear Peter's shallow breaths beside me. He gets up so suddenly that I almost jump out of my skin.

"Peter..." I push myself up to follow him, wobbling slightly on my feet, but he holds up his hand, and brings a finger to his mouth. I frown, "what?"

He knocks on the wall, creating four hollow taps that echo through the house. I'm about to declare that the boy is crazy when he is answered by five knocks this time. Peter nods to me, "It's safe, come."

I follow him, bracing myself for the fresh blood and fresh scars. James and Sirius have hauled Remus onto the bed, who is on the brink of unconsciousness, although he won't lay down, "James- no- James I don't want to."

"Leave the grumpy old man be, Potter," I call out, putting on a brave face. The three turn their attention to us, each more bedraggled and worse for wear than each other, "Good God you all look like you've been dragged through bushes."

"Look at you," Remus quips back, though he seems to be straining on every word, "all Red Riding Hoodesque."

I look down, remembering that I'm still wearing the stupid red Ministry dress, "Oh, you know, I like to look fancy any time of day. Especially four am in the morning."

Sirius clears his throat, interrupting us. He tips out the contents of his satchel onto the bed, and I remember that I never got the bandages. He must see the look on my face, because he takes one of the pillows, and starts pulling off the case, "You clear up and I'll start on the paste?"

"Sure," I nod, sitting on the bed behind Remus, and cast aguamenti into a bowl James hands over. Using a wad of cloth that Sirius hands me, I begin to wipe the blood away on Remus' back. It's not too bad, with only two shallow scratches on his back, and a few on his arms, but I still feel bad every time he winces because of the disinfectant in the potions Sirius brought. I shift to sit by Remus' side, "Bandage please, Sirius."

"Here," he keeps his head low, passing the strip of linen. Remus turns his head away from the boy, and the tension in the room is almost unbearable. 

I wrap up his arms quickly, and smile, "Job well done, I think."

"Huh," Remus huffs. His hands curl into fists, and I realize what's about to happen.

Before I can say anything, Sirius pipes up, mistaking his anger for displeasure in our work, "What's wrong Moony?" 

"I wonder," Remus snaps, his eyes wild, "I wonder what's wrong. Could it be that somebody blabbered to Snape about what we do?"

James gets up, rady to pull the two boys apart, "I really think this isn't the time-"

"No, James," Remus shakes his head, "the place Black betrayed me really does seem quite suitable."

"I did not!"

"Then how do you explain Snape bouncing in like he has every right to?!" Remus pushes himself up, but his knees give way, and Sirius and I go to catch him. I grab him just under his shoulder, as does Sirius on the other side, but Remus shoves him away, "Don't touch me."

"Look, Remus," Sirius flinches at his tone, and he is blinking furiously, as though trying to hold back tears, "he wouldn't piss off, and we got into an argument. I told him how to get past the tree, just to scare him. He wouldn't stop taunting you. I just wanted to scare him-"

"I could have killed him," Remus croaks, "I could have killed him, Sirius. How can you be so stupid? Arrogant? Disgus-"

"Remus," I warn, squeezing his shoulder.

He doesn't even give me a second's glance, "You're a worthless friend."

Sirius' eye's widen, "Moony, I'm sorry, please-"

"Get out."

"I'm sorry-"

"Get out." 

*

"Remus, rest," I push him back on to the bed once again. Peter and James clean up the mess around us, and I'm pretty sure that if Remus squirms anymore he'll make his cuts start bleeding again.

He squeezes my knee, "I need to find him."

"You what?" I raise my eyebrows, and he responds with an equally surprised look.

"Lin, he's going to do something rash. I made a mistake-"

"You bloody well did."

"I know." He sighs, "Just... Look I shouldn't have called him that, but I'm just so angry."

"You're allowed to feel that," I take his hand, "but you need to apologise."

"She's right," Peter calls from where he's casting part of the wall back together. "It's annoying when you two bicker. Gives me migraines."

"See?" I give him a small smile, "Fighting won't solve anything."

"I know," Remus frowns, "but I don't want to apologise. Just, not now."

"You have no idea how much I want to punch you." I rub my face, exhasperated. "Honestly and truly-"

"Shall we go?" James cuts in, and I realise that he really doesn't want anymore shouting. I nod, and Peter helps Remus up, with James taking his other side, As we descend the stairs, James begins talking quite quickly, "You know, I think I'm going to have hash browns for breakfast, and maybe like two fried eggs, and jam. Spoonfuls of it. That would be great, wouldn't it?"

I start ahead of the boys, zoning out of the conversation as we enter the tunnel, and I focus on casting lumos to guide us. I hope Sirius is alright, wherever he is.
The worrying part is that I have no idea where he is.
When we get to the end of the tunnel, Peter hits a notch between the roots, making the tree still, wihich admittedly is quite impressive.

"Come on old man," James pulls Remus out, who staggers out. We hold him tight in case he loses his balance, and slowly make our way back to the school. The school grounds are deadly still, although some of the windows are lit with candles, but we pass undetected through the courtyards. 

We're about to enter a corridor when I see something flicker in the tower opposite out of the corner of my eye. I let go of Remus, and stop squinting to get a better view. He frowns over his shoulder, "Lin? You okay?"

"Yeah," I nod, "you guys go on. I just... I need to have a look at something."

"Um, okay," Remus shrugs, and they carry on. I walk back into the courtyard to get a better view.

Someone's seated at the edge of the tower overlooking the courtyard, and I wave my arms to catch their attention, "Hey!"

The slouching figure jerks to attention, and when they spot me, they jump to their feet, backing up into the shadows. That posture. That gait. I'd know it anywhere.

Sirius.