1000 Years

~Chapter 9~

A week has passed and I have been a little clingy. Eli keeps asking what's wrong and he keep assuring me everything will be fine, but I don't know. I sit in my bean bag chair and read a book, when Tate walks into my room and asks," why have you been so jumpy for?" I say," one day you will understand, isn't passed your bedtime?" He nods and I say," come on I will tuck you in." He asks," will you sing to me?" I ask," what?" He says," I listen to you sing to yourself sometimes and you have a beautiful soothing voice." Wow this kid knows big words," sure."

I walk into Eli's room and steal his acoustic guitar and I walk into Tate's bedroom. I take the pick and begin to strum lightly. "And I'd give up forever to touch you 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.And I don't wanna go home right now And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life When sooner or later it's over I just don't wanna miss you tonight.And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything feels like the movies Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am.I just want you to know who I am.I just want you to know who I am.I just want you to know who I am." I finish the song and smile as Tate is fast asleep.

"You sounded lovely," I look over to see Eli. I smile and say," thanks." He smiles and I say," I am going to lay down." I put his guitar back in his room and I lay down in my bed. I close the door, " Babe I love that you're clinging to me, but-""I know Eli drop it good night." I stare at the wall," Night Amber." The way he said my name, he  hasn't said my real name in so long, but to hear him say it hurts me.

I put on my converses and my hoodie, I walk out on the Mountain. I sit down and cry, I cry until Dawn. I look up and I feel the tears still coming down my face. What have I done? " And I don't want the world to see me ' Cause I don't think they'd understand when everything's meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am. And I can't fight the tears that ain't coming or the moment of truth in your lies. When everything feels like the movies, yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive." I start crying harder now.

I walk up the stairs ignoring everyone's concerned looks and I walk into my room. I take my hoodie off and my converses. I lay on my bed, staring at the wall and I feel nothing. Nothing at all. Numbness. I lay here the entire day, mom coming to check on me every once in a while, other than that, I have been alone.

I guess Eli has given up on me already. A single tear falls, but I wipe it away. I lay on my back staring at the ceiling, when my door opens I sigh," mom I am perfectly fine go away." "I don't think I am your mom." Eli? I roll my eyes and ask," you can go away too Eli, I don't want to be too clingy." He sighs," Amber listen to me." I roll my eyes and say," go ahead." He says," I love you being a little clingy, but you act as if I am going to disappear. And you act like I have been gone for a year when I walk into the living room from outside." I say," I know that's why I am giving you your space." "By crying?" I say,"I am not crying, it's just allergies." "Amber Vampires don't have allergies." A tear falls as I say," I know." "Why are you crying Amber?" I say," because of that. You haven't called me Amber since we first found out we were mates, now all of the sudden it seems like I am nothing but that stubborn Amber I was before I found out we were mates, you won't hug me or hold my hand and it's because I am clingy and don't say you like me being clingy because you don't and I know it."

I walk outside to Ethan's little grave and I cry. I keep crying, why can't I stop? I feel a little squeeze, I smile and I say," thanks buddy." I hear," I know it's hard, but Amber have faith in my big bro." I smile and say," I will try, it's just I love him and I can't tell him that, and I am too clingy because I am scared to lose him, but me being too clingy has caused me to lose him." Ethan says," no you haven't." I smile and say," thanks for trying Ethan, but I think I have done messed up." "You haven't messed up babe, I know you're scared, but listen to me you will not lose me," Eli says from behind me. I say," how do you know? I had to watch my own dad die." "I had to watch my little brother who was about 10 in human years be put to death because of his illness." I say," I know how that feels, but the thought of losing you is much more harder to face than my fathers death because I barely knew my father."

I stand up and face him," babe focus on what's going on right now, what's in front of you. Don't focus on the negative side to life." He places his hands on the sides of my face and wipes my tears." Eli the negative is always lingering in my mind." "Baby, what's going on right now?" "We are talking." "What's in front of you right now?" "You." "Okay focus in that." "I can't not knowing how clingy I am." " Baby it's okay to be a little clingy." I nod and he kisses me. We pull apart and I hug him, he hugs me back.