Stuck In Time

Chapter 14-Part 2

*Get ready!!!! You find out something big in this chapter! Hehe! *Grabs popcorn*

My shoes made the ‘crunch’ sound as I stepped on the frosty grass of the cemetery. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply as I prepared myself to possibly get answers. When I finally opened my eyes, I took another step, slowly and gingerly.

Why am I so afraid? I mean, it’s not like he’s going to reappear.

Then why did it happen at the grocery store?

Taking another step, I looked around, my eyes landing on my father’s grave. My feet moved on their own as they ran to the stone, coming to halt in front of some flowers. 

I knelt down, lightly grazing my fingers over the delicate pink petals, as if they were to break any second. My eyes wandered up to his name, and it finally hit me.

I was here. 

I was in front of my father, no, on top of my dead father. Suddenly I felt guilty, like I should have come more often. Like I should have visited him. But I just couldn’t face it. I couldn’t face the fact that he was gone. Whispering a ‘sorry’, my hands trailed over his name, to when he was born, to when he...died. 

A reasonable part of me had come to terms a long time ago that he was gone. But another part of me, a bigger part, knew it couldn’t be true. That bigger part...is gone. 

Somehow though, amist all the tears, and heartbreak, my dad was trying to tell me something.

Then, my heart suddenly felt light, like someone had lifted a burden off of me. My hands were shaking, and warmth tickled the back of my eyes, signaling tears any second. I felt so safe here, so protected. I just felt snug.

Like...he was holding me as the sobs came. Sniffling, words came out before I could stop them.

“I’m” I choked “sorry. Sorry for not coming sooner.”

No response.

“I couldn’t do it! I couldn’t face the fact that the person that mattered most to me was gone!”

Nothing.

I cried harder, my knees falling to the ground as I sobbed.

“Dad” I whispered hoarsely. 

“I miss you.”

My heart started to feel even lighter, and a small happiness grew inside me. I knew he was listening, I could feel it. The feeling was so different that something I had ever felt before. I never knew before if he was actually listening. Now I know that he was.

I listened, so intensely, my eyes creating more water from the force of being shut too hard.

“Tell me” I cried quietly. “Tell me why. Why are you giving me these signs?!” 

“Carson”

Ohmigod. 

...

Dad?

“Dad!” I screamed at the dark stone. “Dad!”

I sobbed harder, my whole body shaking from the experience. I heard his soft breathing from behind me, and I turned with wide eyes. There was nothing there, yet there he was. My father’s soul was in my presence, vague and distorted, yet, so vivid and alive. I couldn’t describe my emotions even if I tried. 

I wanted to hug him, hold him so tight that his scent would be engraved on me forever. My mind was so in shock, but my heart was so relieved. I wanted to be picked up and twirled one last time, like I was when I was little. But I knew none of these things could happen again. I knew now. Closing my eyes, I let my mind and body slow it’s pace down, to almost a meditating state.