Addiction

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I dragged my feet across the floor and flopped down onto my bed. I kicked my shoes off and struggled out of my jeans. I threw off my jacket and pulled off my shirt. I grabbed the closest pull over hoodie and yanked it over my head.

I was gonna try get a little sleep, even if today all I did was lounge around. I decided I was just gonna try to go to sleep in my hoodie and boxers.

I layed down on top of my covers and placed my head on my pillow. This was starting to sound like a romance cliché. I furrowed my eyebrows and rolled onto my side. For some reason I couldn't sleep. All the anxiety was swirling around my head. The fading fingerprints on my throat started to throb.

I decided to get up and pull the glass out of my face. I stood up and turned on the light. I got out a small knife, a pair of tweezers , some plasters and some water. One by one I pulled out the small pieces of glass, sometimes needing to use the knife. After I cleaned each cut with the water, I stuck a plaster on each slit.

Since tonight everything has gone to fuck and I'm already in an inescapable pit of despair, why not dig myself a little deeper.

I got out my school tie and a silk black box. I pulled off my hoodie and tied my tie around the top part of my arm. I opened the black box and pulled out an almost full bottle of clear liquid and a needle. I screwed off the lid, not daring to inhale the toxic scent. I stuck the needle into the bottle and filled it.

I haven't  used this stuff since I got it. That wasn't the best of times but oh well. That was back when I had only just started getting into the hard-core stuff.  I rubbed my arm with some water where I was going to be piercing the skin. I dried the area and took a deep breath. this was it. I was going to do something so reckless that I have a very high change of dying.

Oh well. Not like very many people will care. Maybe Sasha. Probably Lizzy. I took another deep breath and tightened the tie. I pulled the needle towards my arm. This was it. Here I go. I pierced my skin and slowly injected the fluid into my blood stream. This was the part I got addicted to. Not the high but the cold flush as it gets pushed in. The thrill.

I pulled the needle out and the room started spinning so quickly I couldn't even see colours or lights.