I meant something like that... (New Girl fanfiction - Nick Miller and Jess Day)

Chapter 1 ~ Nick

A/N: This chapter is set during episode Cooler (season 2, episode 15).

1. 'Broken One'

'I like you, Jess. I really do. I'm glad you're around.'

I woke up from my dream/flashback. I remembered what I said to her when we were on that beach and now it was chasing me. Why didn't she tell me about that? Maybe she doesn't feel the same way?

But she said something that day in desert, she said she's gonna be okay 'cause she met... Me.

I'm just confusing myself.

In past year and a half I started to realize what I tried to push away since... Well, since I met her. Her. Sounds so weird. Just like her. I smiled at thought of her. I like her. A lot. And I said her in my head so much times, it started to sound weird.

Just like her.

Man, what's wrong with me?

But, she was with Sam. Sam, I hate you. I really hate you Sam. Why did she chose you?

He's hotter.
He has a job.
He's a doctor.

I'm no where near hot.
I don't have a job.
I don't save lives.

I'm just a loser.

I know I'll never be good enough for her. But if I get a chance I won't let it slip through my fingers. I'll protect her and love her like no one ever did nor could.

That sounds so cliché. It really does. Wow, I'm ashamed of myself right now.

Shut up, Nick.

I turtle faced and went to sleep. But that night, I had worst sleep ever in my life. Actually, it wasn't that bad. I thought of her.

So cliché.

-

'God, Miller, just kiss me already!', Jess screamed frustrated. I wanted to kiss her, but...

'No, Jess! Not like this!', Jess looked at me confused and I knew it shuldn't slip out my mouth. But it did, it freaking did.

I mumbled some weird stuff, moved Melon Me and got out on a window.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

I managed to stay alive and get in the apartment. And I felt good. Mostly. Oh, who am I kidding? I hate my move with Jess. If you can call it a move.

I'm such a mess. And I think only one person can fix me.

Not Caroline.

Not Julia.

Not any girl I've dated or not dated.

Just one girl. Only her. Only Jess.

But she wasn't single, so no one could could fix me.

No one.

-

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Nika, xx