bad bitch life

not sure about anything around

handsome boy." POV..me: Collin:

two weeks ago, i wantted to see alexa, after she accepted the idea, which give me a little hope, to see her again, i was so exited when she said it was ok to come after all, after i let her, when i didnt pay attention she was really care about me, while i was the jerk, which was just seeing her as a girl for spending time, and i was wrong, when i went to college, she was texiting me and i didnt even care but when she start to act cold, i've felt diffrent, she was matter to me, she is matter to me now..im thinking about being with her everymoment now...

i had that desire to be close to her, checking her, look at her even from a far distance...

before two weeks ago from now, i was at the hight school as we" (me and alexa) planed, i get in and it was such a mess cz i couldnt avoid all my friend that miss me, i did miss just that beautiful girl, as i did never expect that i will...
i thought that i should make things clear with Heather, "the girl i was dating unfortunately", despite the broke up we had including her been selfish,she never had that special thing that alexa gave me, the thing which make me still think about her even more, after she gave up on me, and i desrve, i wasnt serious about her, and it was my big mistake and i regeret i didnt make her believe how special she is and deserve to be treat ...my thoughts were all about her, so i moved directly to senior hall, to find her and talk, cz she allowed so...and then she came, walking from junior hall, which was obvious she was talking to one of her friends..she passed by me with a beautifull smile on her face, she looked cute on that skiny jeans, and a sexy tanc top, i followed her when she shake my hand, i smiled at her, as she went up stairs, i wantted to walk with her, but then my old friends came, so i couldnt, i was stressed, all i wanted to do is avoiding them and go catch her, before she get mad, and wont talk to me.
i didnt found her around, and i had to walk down stairs cz supervisors would doubt about smthg, so i went with my friend and his girlfriend, i talked on the phone for a minute, then alexa came in , she got kind of suprise, that i still there, then she get closer, and talked to me about the classroom we are going to.....
we went up again, and when we reach to an empty hall, she smiled at me, and i did the same , we stoped  there as i've found a chaire , and i sat down facing her, she looked at me deep in the eyes like she wanted to tell me somthing, all my exitment and happiness that i could fix what i've done to her,just disappeared, she was having that disappointment face, the sad one, even she was smiling to see me again, i swear i could feel that she dont want me to be far from her anymore, she wanted me really, or at least ive only just notice that for the first time, while i didnt keep attention on what she was feel last year...i couldnt feel anything that moment but the pain in my heart, then i broke that silence to not let her like that anymore..
trying to fix what i've ruin, to let her be my sweet beautiful girl again...