bad bitch life

count down

ITS'S JUST ME MYSELF AND I .SONG ""

💔💭🌙🌙

29 march:  few days and i will return back to school, and then it will be a few weeks before final big test for graduate as well, Collin didnt show up, but i sent him a msg on facebook, i wrote in :" collin i will write theis words, everytime you open ur facebook u will find thies and you will know someone see u're special,", "I LOVE YOU""..
i dont have to say that all times, but i've just missed him, i feel like i cant breath without him, and it's hard for me, to think all the time about him, it hurt, actually it  does.."

Alexa pov

! april:
i feel so sad, right now, sitting at my room doing , nothing just writing theis word, for you , let you know , what i feel, i'm crying, while im lisiting to music,  thinking, about Collin, and how it hurt, when i see , a painfull, ending, somehow, it's true , i want him, and im fighting and studying hard to get my graduate, but i feel fail, im tired, emotionly..

maybe it's time, to let go, now, better than ,get hurt later, maybe it's better to forget him..

well... words are easy, to say, but i think that make it true it's hard, i cant just forget , all of those two years, together, moments, we share, caring, about each other, it's more than making out and playing, he know that , and i do as well.

it hurt, even when i just think , that i have to forget about him, to not get hurt at the end, the end of what im predicting, when i will, be tired from trying, and im not sure, if it will be that way, im not sure, maybe Collin, will be a part of my life after this year, when i will went to the same college as him, when i wont give trying, till i will reach there...

"when i wont give up on him"...

it's all depending on how much i will try, how much i will fight, till, that end, to see, how life will be....

3 April:
here we are , first day at school, it's 7am and im going to now, hope Collin will, come, today, or at least tomorrow...
whish me luck"".

well he didnt come, maybe he will, this afternoon,or tomorow, i just have that feeling, that i will, see him again , so soon.
                                                                       ___________________________________________

"it hurt when , you cant do anything, about having the thing you love, when you, fought a lot, but still, not enough".
years ago, i was saying that only my first crush, deserve my tears, but now, i think i was wrong, it's the feeling that the person you love, gave you, and make you cry, for a reason or not, it just happen ,that you are crying for, "sometimes it feels good i swear, when i know that Collin want me, but he dont know what to do, else what he's doing....."

i dont know what to do, either, i cant focuss, on my study, my last year, and i could be with him, but im tired, and i cant even fight more, to graduate, and reach him, cz he's already, a pain for me, he make me suffer from missing him....

that's sad right, i hope i will write somthing soooooon , as Collin, decide, to act, and not let Alexa like that, suffer...
see u , bayyy
ND