My Baby - Vanoss Crew & More X Baby!Reader

63 ; End of Kindergarten

I hope you guys will accustom yourself to some time jumps as I have a plan; by chapter one hundred - thirty seven chapters away - you, Oliver, and Ella will be high schoolers. This story will go up to marriages and children; should there be a sequel that follows the life of your child?

•

"C'mon, Ella," you called as the final bell rang, dragging her out of the classroom and towards the buses. "Pool party at my house! Your mom said it was okay, right?"

"Yeah!" Ella smiled as you two got on the bus and sat in a three seater, Oliver joining you seconds later.

The entire bus ride home, all you three talked about were your plans for the summer: Ella was going to Italy for a month to visit family; Oli said his dad was planning on a trip to Disney Land; you told them about Dan and Phil coming to visit soon.

When the bus rolled to a halt at your stop, the three of you got off and ran to your house, big smiles on your faces.

•

Sorry for a short chapter and a delay.

Sorry I don't meet the expectations and promises I set.

I understand if I make you guys mad or frustrated with all my unkept promises and the lies saying I'm fine.

My life is falling apart.

I am falling apart;

Yet I smile and laugh.

I grin and giggle.

I talk and talk with an airy, sweet voice.

I continue to be, as some put it, "too nice".

I try to rid the feeling by finding someone who would make me happy, but no one seems to want that sort of relationship. Yet I smile and say I'm fine.

I say I'm okay.

I bite back pitiful screams and I swallow sobs. I hide my past beneath long sleeves and rubber bracelets. I hide my taunting mistakes and my agonizing pain.

I say I'm alright, that nothing is bothering me. I don't shed tears of pain in front of anyone; those tears soak my bedsheets or fall down the drain. The tears I shed in front of others are tears of frustration, tears of exhaustion.

People around me - my friends, ones I love dearly - are not okay, and I am no help; no, I only drag them down more and flee like the coward I am.

I am an anchor, dragging happy people into the darkness of whatever this hell is. Dragging the innocent into the worst.

Nobody sees through my lies;

They don't see the pain in my eyes.

They don't know what happens when their back is turned; what happens when the lights go out.

I don't know how much more I can withstand; I'm no superhero. I'm just a girl with too many problems and a lacerated heart.

I don't want to hurt anymore.