Scomiche - Secret Diary of a Fangirl

6. Heart Eyes

Reprising her role as David: _opheliac 

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These stupid rumors are driving me crazy. A few fans spotted me watching Scott's concert from the sidelines and the pics were already flying around the Tumblr/Twitterverse before the show was even over. What they don't realize is that I wasn't really just out there to stare up at the perfection of Mr. Hoying like a lovesick fool as they all seem to think. I was looking for David.

I may or may not have rigged a contest for him to win front row seats and a meet and greet with Scott. Trust me, he deserved it after all he's put up with. He had no idea I was there or that I'd had anything to do with his good fortune but it was worth it to get the shouty caps freak out he'd had when he'd been notified just days before the show. He'd alternated between ecstatic and terrified, excited and panicking and it was amazing to witness.

Besides, it was fun watching him try to keep his cool while meeting the perfect male specimen, but I have to say I'm impressed by his restraint. He didn't try to rip Scott's clothes off or burst into tears or anything and seemed quite calm by normal fangirl standards. I knew I would get a novel in the chat and I would probably be hearing about how perfect Scott is for the next year, but what else is new. I tried to spot him amongst the sea of people in the sold out stadium, but it was impossible. One day I'd tell him the truth and hopefully he wouldn't hate me. Maybe then we'd get to experience a concert together... maybe.

Anyway... after the show while Scott showered inside the venue, wasting time to hopefully get some of the fans to give up and go home, I escaped to the tour bus to try and write but the mood just wouldn't find me. I hadn't written anything remotely sexy in the week and a half since the 'Cameron' incident, but I hadn't killed anyone either so I still consider it a win. Scott had been grumpy for a couple of days after that, which is stupid for someone who just got laid, but then he was back to clinging to me like an overgrown koala. I put on the smile, business as usual.

We're finally getting back into our routine and I'm actually glad. I've finally managed to let go of my sadness to make way for acceptance. This is what we do. We're friends and it's not his fault I'm hopelessly enamored with him. Thankfully he hasn't been flaunting his... relationship? FWB? whatever it was with Cameron in front of me. In fact he made it a point to keep the guy as far away from me as possible. Cam even showed up to our hotel suite once and Scott dismissed him in under a minute. I feel a little bad for the guy... just a teeny bit. So it is what it is. I don't know what they have going on but it's not really any of my business what Scott does with his personal life. He hasn't brought him back for any more shenanigans so at least there's that.

A sudden burst of screaming pulls me from my thoughts and I know it's time to start getting ready for him. I can't see him through the window yet, but I know he's out there somewhere. He tries to do what he can, to give back to the fans who devote so much of their time and money to supporting him, but fans are their own worst enemies (I should know). It starts off friendly enough but soon they begin to push and shove with impatience and desperation to get closer, to reach out and touch, and things quickly get out of control. There's always a tiny bit of fear when he's out there among the madness. People are unpredictable and we've had our fair share of crazies who cross the line. You never know.

It's only a couple of minutes before security has ended the impromptu signing for safety reasons and I can finally release the breath I've been holding and the tension fades away when I hear him humming.