Scomiche - Secret Diary of a Fangirl

17. Truth

(A/N sorry hasn't really been edited so apologies i'll fix it in the hour or so) 

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He was gone for what felt like forever.  I cried, worried, cried some more... I should have waited until we were home in LA to tell him, but coulda shoulda woulda ... doesn't matter anymore. I hear him come in before he peeks into the bedroom.

"Hey. Can I talk to you? Out here?"

"Yea."

I expect the worst as I climb out of bed and shuffle my way out to the living room, but when I get out there he wraps me up in his arms and holds me tight against him. I want to grab and hold as hard as I can and nuzzle down into him, but I hold back. I have to start resisting.

"Please don't cry."

Am I that obvious!?

100%.

"I was afraid you hated me."

He pulls back to look at me and when I get a good look at him I realize just how much I miss his smile when it's gone. He's not made for sadness, at least in my opinion.

"I could never hate you. I'm just sad. You're my best friend and not having you there with me... it won't be the same. I'd miss you so much."

I didn't know what to say so i just stared at him, taking it all in while i still could.

"Can I just ask for one thing?"

Anything. Always.

I nod.

"Will you stay with me until promo is over? You know I wrote most of this album and it just means a lot and ... I'm a little scared how people will feel about it. I know it's selfish to ask, but I really need you there with me. If you still want to leave before we prep for tour..."

He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth before chewing on it again. I wish I knew what he was thinking. It would make life so much easier.

"... then I won't try to stop you."

"Alright."

NO! No, Mitch NO! The longer you wait the harder it will be to let go! WHY WOULD YOU SAY YESSSSS!!!!!!

Whyyyyy

Because he's smiling again... that's why. It makes everything seem a bit better. Aaaannddd he's hugging me again. I never want to forget how this feels, or how he smells. I want to always remember it, even if it breaks my heart.

"C'mon. I really need to finish packing."

He gives me another smile and I pull away to head for the bedroom. I'm mostly packed, but I'll help him like I always do. There's still a weird dynamic between us but it'll right itself soon, at least I hope.

_______

Being back in LA is a bit like torture. Scott had a few promo gigs around LA but he didn't need me for those and so I occupied my time packing and looking at some more places.

You'd be surprised how much easier it is to make decisions when there isn't anyone else there to whisper opinions in your ear. Finally, after looking at another 7 houses in as many days, I finally found it. Y'know... IT! It's in my price range, it's not too ridiculously big to maintain but it's not small at all either. There's plenty of rooms and a nice fenced in back yard if I want to get a dog or anything. It's close enough to the city that it's not super inconvenient to get back there, but far enough away for some peace and quiet. It's much closer to Scott, but that honestly had nothing to do with my decision. There were closer places but this one just felt right. It's brand new and I'm hiring someone to help me get it exactly the way I want it.