Scomiche - Secret Diary of a Fangirl

24. Swimming Pools

David and all of his amazingness = _opheliac

Again lyrics are not mine they belong to people who aren't me :)
Attached is Blue  &  Swimming Pools can be found w/ a simple google search or on youtube. (but if you don't have Blue Neighborhood what are you doing with your life?!)

Good luck... it's a long one ... but there's a bit of a surprise coming your way very #soon.

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I cried myself to sleep, but I'm sure you figured that out. I wake up around 3am, still in my suit, and I feel like I'm coming down from an all night drinking binge.  My body aches, my head is pounding and my lips feel like I haven't had water in a week.

It doesn't even matter. I'm not really sure if anything does anymore. 

Of course there's a part of me that wants to check on him, to make sure he made it back alright, but I can't bring myself to. Instead I decide to take a shower and change into something more comfortable, but it's impossible for me to go back to sleep. 

I keep thinking about the video I made ... and wonder what to do with it. A huge part of me wants to send it to Scott and I get as far as uploading it to youtube (on private of course), but every time I remember his face when he asked me not to confess... and I know I can't.

I spend the rest of the night on autopilot. I stare off into the darkness for a while, silent tears falling every now and then. I wander around my room and bathroom, making sure everything is packed and nothing would be left behind.

When I find one of Scott's beanies it nearly breaks me, but I can't stop myself when I add it to my suitcase.

After that there's nothing left to do but lay there in silence until my alarm goes off. I know I have to wake up Scott, but I just can't. I'm too much of a chicken to face him so I text Connor instead. I wander out into the main room, gathering some of the items Scott left around and piling them onto the counter. It only takes a  couple of minutes for Connor to knock quietly and when I open the door I'm surprised to see he's fully dressed and ready to go.

I must really look awful because his smile immediately disappears and he wraps me up in a tight hug. I wanna break down in his arms, to cry until I feel like a person again, but there's nothing left in me but dust.

"I don't know what happened, and I know you've only known me less than a week, but you can always talk to me. I'm a pretty good listener."

I nod and hug just a bit tighter. "Just take care of him for me, ok? Please."

"I will. I promise." He pulls away and looks at me but I motion towards Scott's closed door and he bites his lip.

I busy myself with getting dressed while he wakes up Scott.  When I hear the shower going in his bathroom I do a triple sweep of his room and quickly pack the items he'd missed. When that's done I decide it's time to pass on my planner to Connor. It's full of different colored notes, pen marks, strike outs and whiteout, but it's also got Scott's schedule in it and some things that will be helpful for him. It's tough to hand it over, but it's not like anything on this day will be easy.

Connor is full of hugs and I couldn't be more grateful that he's the one that will be taking my place at Scott's side. I have to remember to thank Tyler when I see him later.

I leave the suite for awhile, stopping by some of the rooms to say goodbye to my friends. There's a ton of more tears, but none from me.  I'm all cried out.