My Savior { jastin }

Chapter 7

Justin

There they were.

Three more fresh cuts on my wrist.

There they are.

The only way to take away the pain.

My arm was covered in them, old and new.

Jason had left to go and plan some shit with his gang, not like he would want to be with me.

I ruined everything with us.

I'm the cause of this.

If I wouldn't have been so selfish, maybe I would still have someone to hold me at night, but now I sleep on the couch.

Away from Jason.

_

I put on my hoodie covering my arms and grabbed my backpack.

Another day in hell.

I sat through Ms. Dawson's class listening to her confusing math lesson.

Always confusing.

I'm just not smart enough with this stuff. Another thing to add to my list of flaws.

Dumb.

"Alright class, please enjoy your weekends." She said dismissing us, of course with our stack of homework.

I was putting my books in my lockers when I heard the laughing and talking.

Yes, I knew it was about me.

The gay kid.

I closed my locker and tried to leave and avoid any conflicts with Chris. Too late for that I guess.

"Hey Fag, where do you think you're going?"

Jason

"Alright Jason, what's going on?" Ryan asked me.

I looked at him, to see a worried look on his face.

"It's nothing bro." I sighed, rubbing my temples.

"Yes it is man. You know you can tell me anything." He said taking a seat next to me, giving me a serious look.

"Please don't judge me." I started first and looked at him with a hard expression.

"You know I would never judge you. Now please tell me. You're out of it today."

I buried my face in my hands and sighed.

"Justin broke up with me." I said.

I just said it and got it out.

"Whoa. Wait, you and Justin were together?" He asked making me nod.

It was silent for awhile, and I peeked at Ryan to see him biting his lip.

"Well, why did he break up with you?" He asked and I looked up at him with raised eyebrows.

"You actually care?" I questioned, kind of shocked.

"Of course, apparently it was bad enough to make you like this, so you must of really felt something for him, so tell me why."

He's right, I know it's soon, but Justin does mean a lot.

"He thinks I'm embarrassed of him." I said quietly, ashamed of myself.

"Why would he think that?" Ryan asked, so I told him.

The whole story of me and Justin.

Everything, being sure to detail my mistakes.

I know I was in the wrong.

"Wow, that's bad." Ryan sighed and I nodded.

It felt good to tell someone about us, and Ryan actually accepted us.

If I would've said sooner.

Justin

"Just kill yourself already Justin. No one would care, we're all embarrassed by you. Do us all a favor and end it."

Those words replayed in my head over and over again.

My parents hate me, people at school hate me, Jason's ashamed of me, I'm even embarrassed to be me.

He's right.

I should just end it all.

Maybe that would make everyone's life easier.