My Savior { jastin }

Chapter 25

Jason

As I sat on the back porch, I thought of Jessica. Images of her flooded through my mind and I bit my lip.

I told her I was gay, and she had just gave me a really soft smile and nodded. She said she kind of figured, whenever we had sex she could never give me a boner. Blunt, and kind of cocky on her end, but it's true. She had told me good luck and left, kissing my cheek before she went.

I inhaled the smoke from my cigarette and closed my eyes. Ryan won't even talk to me anymore and Bruce just looked disgusted by me.

Charlie is upset. Angry. I know I'm a douche. A big one.

But in certain ways, I don't feel bad for what I did. I don't know why, I know that I want to go hold him, but I don't know why I'm not feeling that bad.

When Charlie told me Justin was asked to join the gang, that's what brought it out. I was keeping it locked in and pushing Justin away.

What if he dies on me? What if he leaves me again? I can't go through that. I don't want to go through that.

The 3 months without him were hell. Always wondering where he's at and if he was doing okay.

Then he came back and something snapped. He was the one that left me, so why does he get my sympathy?

The sun started to set and I smashed the cigarette below my black combat boots.

I sighed and dug my hands in my pocket before turning around to go back inside.

_

Everyone was sleeping, except Justin. I knew he wasn't asleep because it was storming and he could never sleep through storms.

He always said the thunder kept him up.

I crept down the hall towards his room in my sweats and hesitantly, I opened his door. Sure enough, he was wrapped in his blanket, sitting in the corner of his bed and his eyes wide open.

I didn't move away from the doorway, but he stared at me.

"What are you doing?" He asked, like he was scared I was going to yell at him. I smiled softly and closed his door quietly behind me.

He moved to the side when I climbed into bed with him.

I did it like on autopilot. He needed to be held and well, I needed to be near him.

It was, relieving, to be in bed with him. He still looked afraid, so I grabbed his shaky hand and stretched my fingers out so his fingers fell between them.

He looked down at our hands and then up at me. I just grinned at him and laid down, pulling him with me. I let him lay his head on my chest, once he got comfortable, and I gently ran my fingers through his hair.

He was still a little stiff, but I felt him relaxing and that brought me comfort.

I missed this. Just me and him. No one else.

A part of me felt okay now since I was here.

"I forgot how soft your hair was." I chuckled and I could tell he smiled.

I always played with his hair, I don't know why, he never liked people touching it. But when he would sit in front of me or lay beside me, I'd play with it.

"I broke up with Jessica." I spit out and he sat up to look at me.

"I'm... I'm sorry to hear that?" It came out more as a question, but he looked adorable. His head was tilted to the side and he had one of the most confused looks on his face.