In Love With Death's Daughter

Crush

        "And you're certain that you don't want the two of us to hang out? I can tell Lucas that I'm busy. You know, like I'd been trying to do before you interrupted me yesterday?" I ask Kathy for the millionth time this art class alone. It's the last morning class of the first full day of school, and i'm pretty sure Kathy is ready to kill me.         "Delilah," She says pointedly, "You like him. What is wrong with hanging out with him? I though you'd be all over it."         "Yeah, well, I'm not. As you can tell." I reply simply, shrugging.         "I can see it in your eyes, though. You want to. What's stopping you, then?" She asks, looking me directly in the eyes.         "W-What do you mean?" I ask, her accurate accusation throwing me off completely. I would love to, that's true. But I can't. I can't spend time with him, because it's him. When I'm with him, I feel completely different. A good different, but a dangerous different. I feel attracted to him, like a magnet to metal. When I'm around him, I feel like I want, or even need to be with him more, and closer. And I can't let myself do that, because of my dad.         "I mean that I know you want to hang out with him. But there's something that makes you think you can't or something. I can't quite  pinpoint it." She says, still keeping my gaze.         "That's very precise of you. But you're pretty wrong." I say, and she purses her lips.         "I don't believe you." She says, staring at me intensely, and very accusatory until I cave.         "Okay fine. But how did you even guess that?"         "Practice. I told you, I'm more of an observer." She explains with a small chuckle.         "Right."         "Right. Now are you going to tell me what's making you think you can't hang out with him?" Kathy asks, still holding my stare.         "No, I'd rather not." I say sheepishly and look down at my lap. All our art stuff has been put away and now we're all just waiting for the bell to ring, and release us to lunch.         "Well, whatever it is, I'm sure it's not too big of a deal. Just spend lunch time with him," She let's out an exasperated sigh, "Honestly, Delilah."         Not too big of a deal. True. But it helps lead me towards something that is a pretty big deal.         Why not, though? I guess I could just hang out with him this once for lunch. I mean, why not, right? I've gone so long being friendless, so I deserve it. Right? And besides, just because I hang out with him this once, doesn't mean that I'm going to fall so deeply in love with him that I'll do something that could get us in trouble. That's just ridiculous.         I let out a small sigh as the bell rings. "Yeah, I guess you're right." I say and send her a small smile.         "Good. I knew you'd realize that I'm right. I always am." She says cheerily, and grins at me. I just stick my tongue out at her back as she walks away.         So now, thanks to my new friend, I am hanging out with Lucas during lunch. I look over to where he sits, and see an empty chair. And he's not anywhere else in the room in front of me. I'm just about to turn around and  enter full out search mode, when hands cover my eyes, and I feel someone's breath on the back of my neck, making me shiver. I tense up immediately, as he speaks.         "Guess who." Lucas' deep voice flows into my ears, bubbling with amusement.         Before I say anything, Lucas removes his hands  and I turn around to face him. His hazel eyes are shining, and his lips are curved and opened, shaped into the perfect smile, and framing almost perfectly white, straight teeth. My heart flips a million times over, and butterflies fill my stomach.         "Hmm, let me guess." I say sarcastically, despite what my insides are doing. I feel my mouth forming into a smile without having been told to.         "Well, Lovely, I guess you found me out." Lucas jokes, making a 'You caught me' face.         "That I did do, yes." I reply, and stick my tongue out at him.          Lucas lets out a happy sigh. "So shall we?" He asks, and I nod.         "Where are we going to be going?" I ask.         "I was thinking we could just sit outside?"         "Sounds good to me." I announce, and he leads on.   ~  ~  ~           "Tell me about yourself," Lucas says, seating himself at a small picnic table under a tree, "Who is Delilah N-- Uh, Delilah N." He shifts fake nervously in his seat as I laugh at him.         "It's M. Miraude, silly." I tease and he hangs his head in shame.         "Oh.. Okay, well then. Whatever," He laughs, "Who are you, lovely?"         "Who? What? Where? There's a lovely person behind me?" I look frantically behind me, and turn back to him with wide eyes. The look on his face makes me burst out laughing. As if he thought I was being serious. "I'm joking." I assure him, and his eyes light up again.         "So was I. I knew you were." He sends me a smile. A real, beautiful smile, that sends my stomach into somersaults and cartwheels.         "Well," I say, to distract myself, "I am a weird looking girl who looks like a ghost with pitch-black hair, and who likes art."         Lucas nods slowly. "You know, now that I think of it, you do look a little transparent..." He says and reaches his hand toward me. I swat it away.         "No. You shall not touch me." I stick my tongue out at him, and he pouts.         "Awe. Anyways, you don't look that strange. You have a beautiful face. Dare I say, it's, very lovely?"         I blush and look down at my hands.         "Okay, well, who are you then?" I say quietly, still red-faced and inspecting my hands as if they held the answers to any question in the entire universe.         "Me? Well, what am I not?" I look up curiously. "I mean, I play soccer, I'm into art, I help with cleaning of my house, and I can even kind of cook! And don't forget, my impeccable looks." He teases, motioning to his face. He laughs, leans backwards into the empty space behind him, and puts his hands behind his head. "I'm pretty perfect." I smile mischievously at him, and before he can react, I reach over the table and push him a little backwards. His eyes widen and he flails his hand toward mine, latching on for dear life. I feel little sparks tingling through my entire body as his warm fingers wrap around my hand. I let out a small, nervous sounding laugh as I pull him up.         "Meanie." He says.         "Sorry, but everyone has a nemesis." I joke.         "What? I thought we were friends!"          "Everyone also has friends who try to push them off benches for fun."         "Uhuh. Nice save, lovely."         "Why thank you, Mr. Perfect."         "Ooh, I like that. Mr. Perfect. I especially love the blunt sarcasm you used. Very well done!" Lucas says, and he applauds me. Loudly.         I just laugh and bow as best as I can while sitting, which, you know, isn't very good. I almost smash my face into the table, and it sends both of us into a fit of laughter. And I don't mean the kind where you laugh really hard for a little bit. I mean the laugh where you start to lose your breath, so you try to stop. But with tears pricking at your eyes, you look up at the other person and start laughing again, even harder than before, and it just feels so good.         Once I manage to stop laughing, I look at Lucas. His face is red from the lack of oxygen, and his hazel eyes are shining like stars. I feel my heart do a flip as he stops and looks straight into my eyes. He smiles really small, almost as if he were nervous or something.         "Hey, um, Delilah?" Lucas asks, suddenly serious. Caught off guard by his sudden change in mood, I become worried. What happened to the laughing and joking that had just been happening?         "Y-Yeah?" I respond.         "Well, I have two questions for you. Possibly three. Actually, two and a follow-up." He starts rambling.         "Uh okay, I have answers for you, then."         "Okay well first, and less important, is your hair naturally that black?"         I almost burst into laughter at his question. He must be acting nervous to mess with me, or something.         "Yeah, it is. I get that a lot." I say, laughing. "Second question?"         Lucas just nods, a tiny smile threatening to come on his face, before it gets doused. He stays silent for a moment (To add dramatic effect I presume.)         Eventually, Lucas speaks. But, in his acting nervous, he mumbles, and I can't hear him.         "Sorry, what was that?" I ask, leaning in towards him.         "Will you go on a date with me? I know, it's like the second day I've known you, but I really, really like you." Lucas says, loud and clear this time.         Oh.         Wait.         What.         "U-Um.. What do you-- A--" I stammer. Lucas continues to hold my gaze, nervously, while I just sit there, avoiding eye contact, like a deer in the headlights. "I-I don't know what to say..." I finally manage to utter a complete sentence, and mentally pat myself on the back, though there are no smiles about my accomplishment.         "You could say yes, maybe?" Lucas laughs nervously and I stare at my hands. Out of nervous habit, they've started wringing themselves together.         "I-I can't..." I whisper, and look up at him to see all the hope in his face drain.         "Can't? Don't you mean don't want to, or something?" He says, the disappointment and sadness in his voice so thick, it hurts.         "No, I mean I literally can't. I'm not allowed."          "You're a senior in high school," He switched from disappointment to confusion now, "And you're not allowed. Not only that, but you actually follow that stupid rule?"         My eyes widen a bit at his questioning of me following my (very strict, as you know) dad's rule.         "Of course I follow it! Otherwise--" I stop myself from saying the rest. I can't tell this guy that if I break that rule the person I broke it with will probably die from a bad accident of some sort. I can't tell him about my dad. So I shut up.         "Otherwise what?" Lucas asks, his hazel eyes intense, focused directly on mine.         "My dad is just really strict. Bad things would happen if he found out about me sneaking around with a boy. Besides, I can probably date as much as I want after I graduate." I said probably so quietly that I hoped he wouldn't hear it.         He did.         "Probably?" He asks.         I wave his question off.          Lucas stares down at his hands, jaw clenching. He's obviously annoyed. But why should he be annoyed? I mean, he hasn't had to keep  a huge freaking secret for his entire life! He didn't have to switch schools just because a someone tried to kiss him, just to protect that person, may I add. He doesn't look like a freak, and he doesn't have to worry about having the GRIM REAPER as his father! Dammit, now I'm all riled up.         I look up to see Lucas staring at me harshly, and the anger that just bubbled up inside me disintegrates into... fear?
        "You know, if you didn't want to go on a date with me, you could have just said so. You didn't have to go make up that story." He says  bitterly.         I do a double take. What? I didn't make it up.

        "Lucas... That's- That's not true. I do want to. You have no freaking idea. But my dad can really freak me out. You honestly have no idea how much I want to be able to say yes..." I mentally slap myself. Why did I just admit to him that I really really like him? I hadn't even admitted it to myself until just now!         Lucas smiles.         "Then do something for me." He says.         "What?" I ask nervously.         "Grow a pair, and go behind your dad's back. You know that you want to. And I know you can do it. What do you have to lose?" 
        His eyes have returned to shining, and he looks so hopeful. I just look at him sadly, and think, You. I have YOU to lose.         "Come on, Lovely. For me?"

        I stare back down at my wringing hands. Should I? I mean, he knows I like him. And I know he likes me. But my dad. I mean, I could  possibly do it. Be secretive.

        I look up, directly into Lucas' beautiful eyes, and say, "One date."         He grins beautifully, sending butterflies into my stomach.         "Tonight, eight o'clock."         "I'll meet you. Where?"         "Here."         "Okay." I say, just as the bell rings.         "See you then." He smiles.         "See you." I send a small, nervous smile at him           And with that, we go our separate ways.         Until tonight.
        Oh gosh. What did I just get us into?