The Most Painful Life

Chapter 1 - The Dream

Hey! This is my first story on here, but I've always loved writing, so yeah:) You could imagine Zack as Zacky Vengeance from A7X, but it's not a fanfic, just saying:)  If you read this, I'd really appriciate it if you could comment and just give me some ideas of how I could improve it, or if you like it etc, so yeah, enjoy:)!

Zack was the most beautiful boy I'd ever met in my life. He had gorgeous long black hair, that he died streaks of different colours in all the time. He had amazing bright green eyes, and the most dazzling smile that could make any girls breath catch in their throat. He was tall and muscular, the most perfect body anyone could ever imagine. He had amazing tattoos up his arms and across his chest, and always smelt of mint and deodorant, the perfect combination.

Zack was my best friend. We met at high school when I was 13 and he was 15, and had been inseparable ever since. I was also in love with Zack. I first realised my feelings for him when I was about 15, four years later and they only ever got stronger. Of course Zack never knew about my feelings for him, I knew he didn't feel the same way. It would completely wreck our friendship if he knew, and I wouldn't risk that for the world.

I'd had numerous boyfriends over the years, but none of them could ever make me feel the way Zack did. Zack had also had his fair share of girlfriends, it was clear that I wasn't the only one who thought he was gorgeous. I couldn't help but feel completely jealous of every girl he was ever with, and though I tried my best to hide it, I was more than relieved when he ended it with them. They also made me feel self conscious. The girls Zack dated were always really skinny, big-boobed girls, who wore short skirts and dresses, faces covered in make-up, perfect in a boys eyes. Then there was me, I always had crazy hair colours, dressed how I felt, wore little or no make-up, and usually dressed in shorts and a baggy top when Zack was around. Even if there was ever a chance with him, it was long gone. He'd seen my worst side, there was no way he would ever like my imperfections.

Zack and I were having one of our movie days at his house one Saturday. It was pretty normal for me to be hiding my face in his chest while we watched one his scary movies. I hated them, but Zack always made me watch them, even though he knew I couldn't stand to watch them for too long before I was trying to hide behind him. He also knew that there was no way I could sleep alone after watching one, and I would end up sleeping in his bed, scared of my own shadow. Not that I complained about sleeping in his bed, but it grew more awkward every time, knowing that I wished it could mean something more.

This time we were watching The Hostel, our fifth movie of the day, and less than an hour into it, I was hiding behind a cushion, begging Zack to turn it off, but he wouldn't.

"Zack, I need a piss!" I whispered to him, when the movie went quiet.

"Go then." He said, trying not to laugh.

"I'm scared." I replied honestly. I was such a wimp. Zack sighed, grabbed the remote and paused the movie. He turned to look at me.

"C'mon then. I'll take you to the toilet. Scardy cat." He laughed. I got up off the sofa and let him lead me to the toilet.

"I'll wait here for you, unless you want me to come in and wipe your ass for you too!" He said jokingly. I laughed too and closed the door behind me, he had no idea how much I wished I could drag him into the bathroom with me, and have my way with him. But that would be highly inappropriate, and extremely embarrassing.

I walked out of the bathroom and there was Zack, stood outside waiting for me. He looked so beautiful. I wanted to kiss him so badly. I started to wonder if these feelings I had for him were ever going to go away, and if I was ever going to find someone that made me as happy as Zack did. I doubted it. I'd just have to live with the pain.

We sat down to watch the rest of the movie. It was starting to get late now, and I was getting tired. I yawned and Zack stuck his finger in my mouth.

"Yawn rape!" He shouted. I couldn't help but laugh at how immature he was sometimes, it was so cute. "Tired?" He asked. I nodded. We watched the last five minutes of the film and Zack turned the TV off. He picked me up off of the sofa like a baby, carried me up to his room and put me under the covers of his bed. I heard him strip down to his boxers and climb into the other side of the bed and cuddle up to me. I couldn't help but think about how right it felt to be cuddled in his arms, even if it didn't mean anything but friendship to him. I fell asleep almost instantly.

"Hey, Charley!" Zack shouted over to me. I turned around, it seemed he'd just stopped snogging his latest slut to shout me over. I couldn't help but feel disgusted at him, why would he stoop so low? Why couldn't he see how in love with him I was? I waved over to him and smiled, trying to be as convincing as possible and not to let the pain show in my eyes.

"Come over here a sec." He said. I was puzzled but walked over nonetheless.

"'What's up, Zack?" I asked him, expecting him to be asking me something stupid or about to play a stupid prank on me again. But to my surprise his facial expression was completely serious, and I swear his beautiful green eyes had a tint of red in them. He looked angry. I couldn't help but feel scared and intimidated.

"YOU! You're whats up, you stupid whore!" He screamed at me. He slapped me hard across the face. I was stunned. Why would my best friend turn on me like this?

"W-w-what did I do!?" I asked, helplessly.

"You're stopping me from living my life! I know how in love with me you are, and how you hate every girl I ever hook up with, out of pure jealousy! You're pathetic! Why couldn't you just pluck up the balls to ask me out sooner, then I could've rejected you and we could've both gotten on with our lives! I never want to see you ever again. Get out of my life, you fucking bitch!" He shouted at me. My eyes filled up with tears. My face still stung from his slap as I ran as far away as I could. I didn't know where I was going, nor did I care. I didn't want to live anymore if Zack wasn't in my life.

I woke up with a start. I was in shock from my dream. Why would my brain imagine such a thing? It was the worst dream I'd had in a long time. I noticed the pillow I'd slept on was wet from my tears, and Zack was no where to be seen.

As if someone read my mind, Zack walked into the bedroom with a pair of grey joggers on, his chest exposed. I couldn't help but stare.

"Finally, you're up!" He said, walking over to me. "I thought you were going to sleep forever."

"I had a bad dream, Zack." I said in a baby voice. He came over and gave me a big hug. I told him all about my dream, leaving out the part about me loving him.

"Aw, Charley! You know I'd never do that. I love you too much!" He told me. My heart warmed up.

"I love you too, Zack! Bestest friend ev-ah!" I grinned at him. If only you knew how much I loved you. I thought.