The Most Painful Life

Chapter 11 - The Argument

The ride home was silent. Zack didn't even look at me, he kept his eyes firmly on the dark road ahead of us. I'll be honest, I was scared. I knew Zack would never physically hurt me. But if he knew what I was thinking tonight, he'd certainly hurt me emotionally. Now that I really thought about it, I was being a total idiot. I would never cheat on Zack. Leo just wasn't worth it. He was hot, I'll admit that. But my Zack was much much better, and I love him for who he was. I didn't want or need anyone else.

We finally parked up at Zacks house. He got out of the car, slamming the door behind him before roughly opening mine and waiting for me to get out. I hesitantly unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed out of the car, looking at him questioningly. Why was I here? Shouldn't I be going home? He grabbed my hand quickly and pulled me with him inside his house. I was more than confussed.

He didn't let go of my hand as he shut the door behind us and kicked his shoes off. He dragged me to his sofa and pulled me down onto his lap. He still hadn't said anything to me, and I was too confused about the whole situation to try talking to him. He rested his head on my shoulder and started slowly kissing my neck, working his way up to my jaw, then my mouth. Just as things started to get more heated, he pulled away from me and looked straight into my eyes.

"So you want me now, huh?" he said, his voice venomous, yet hurt at the same time. I looked at him, confusion clear on my face.

"I saw how you were acting around him tonight." he said 'him' as if it was a dirty word, one that shouldn't be said unless necessary.

"So what is it, you don't love me now? Or am I just not enough for you? You need a little excitement? Is it because he's in that band? Or is it just that you think he's hot? And another question comes to mind.. Are you gonna leave me for him?" his voice cracked slightly at the last question and he pushed me gently off his lap.I didn't know what to do. I loved him, I really did. I needed him to know that.

"Zack... Baby... Please. It's not like that." I cupped his face in my hand and spoke slowly. "I love you. Only you. I have done for years. Being with you... It's a dream come true, honestly. I don't like Leo, not like that. I promise." I said, looking him straight into his now dull, lifeless eyes.

"Liar." he spat, slapping my hands away. "Your a liar." he stood up, towering over me. "You just wanted to mess with me, didn't you? You knew I liked you, and you just wanted to pull my heart out and rip it out with your bare hands. Well you know what? Fuck you. Fuck your lies." he said with absolutely no emotion. I knew what was coming, he was going to break up with me.

I stood staring at him, waiting for his words telling me we were over. I felt my eyes water, but I tried to hold back the tears. I felt as if I was waiting forever, and just decided to walk out, and take his silence as my cue to leave. I wasn't sure how I was going to get home now, it was pitch black now, and it was certainly unsafe for me to walk home, but I didn't care. The tears were pouring down my face, and now I was out of Zacks house, I was letting them. I turned to take one last look at his house before walking as fast as I could to get home. It was about a half hour walk, but I didn't have much choice.

I noticed it started to rain, but I couldn't care. I needed Zack. I needed him now, more than ever before. I felt a pain in my chest. It was so cliche, but I felt like my heart had literally just shattered. I was distraught. I sat down on the side of the road and watched through my tear-filled eyes as cars sped past me. I didn't care that people were beeping at me, and shouting at me to move out of the way. I wanted Zack. I needed him. I needed my best friend to come here right now and tell me he loved me. Or at least that he didn't hate me.

That was the worst thing. Zack hated me. Of all things, this was the worst. The way he looked at me before I walked out.. It was utterly heart breaking. I could almost hear my heart crack in two. I didn't want sympathy though, it was my fault. All my fault. If I hadn't been as close to Leo, then Zack wouldn't have acted like he did. The thoughts I had of cheating on Zack with Leo now made me fe physically sick. I needed Zack. Nobody else.

I reached into my pocket and shakily pulled out my phone. I struggled to scroll through my phonebook and find Zacks number, but I managed. I needed to talk to him, to apologise. No matter how much it hurt me. Even if we were over, I needed to at least apologise. Clear the air a little.

The ringing of the phone seemed to go on forever. I could hardly breathe anymore. It seemed as if he was never going to pick up, not that I blamed him.

"Charley." Zack said when he finally picked up. His voice was sharp and emotionless. As if he was answering the most simplest question, not saying the name of someone he used to love.

"Zack, please," I sniffed, "listen to me, I'm sorry. It wasn't what it looked like. I'm sorry. I just.. I don't know. I love you. Please, just.. I love you." I stuttered. The line was silent. I could hear his heavy breathing down the phone, but he didn't talk. I grew more and more nervous with every passing second.

"Where are you?" he sighed, finally. I tried to answer him, bit I physically couldn't speak. My voice had totally disappeared. The only sound I could manage was a loud sob, before Zack sighed again and the line went dead.

He'd left me. He'd really left me. Zack was gone.