The Most Painful Life

Chapter 12 - Confessions

I've probably got no readers, but anyway, I'm determined to write a really mushy chapter. I'm also planning on editing my previous chapters soon. I want to make this story more realistic and better. So anyway...

I sat on the side of the road, freezing cold and completely numb. I could feel the rain trickling down my body, but I just couldn't bring myself to care. I watched as car after car sped past me, the headlights making the heavy rain more visible. The moon shined down on me, my only current source of light. The next lamp post was over 30 metres away, and though it wasn't safe for me to be sat alone here in the dark, I just couldn't care enough to move. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to get up. I wanted to just sit there, alone, in the dark, thinking over everything.

My thoughts were interrupted by two strong arms lifting my whole body clean off the ground. I froze in shock. My reflex action was to scream and try to harm my attacker. I kicked and punched but he was just too strong for me. He gripped both my arms with one of his and kept my body up with the other. I soon gave up and just accepted that this was the end. It seemed fitting really. Everything else seemed to have fallen apart anyway. I knew I was being over dramatic, but I was going to be murdered, I had a right. Whoever my kidnapper was, walked fast. He smelt of something familiar, but I couldn't be sure, as the smell of the rain overpowered his scent. He soon opened the door to a car. Stolen, I presumed. He set me down on the backseat and climbed on top of me. I was petrified. He was going to rape me? I couldn't see his face because of the darkness, even his shadow was unclear. 

"Please don't hurt me." I managed to choke out before his lips crashed onto mine. That was unexpected. Since when did rapists kiss the women they raped? What was more shocking though, was the fact that I recognised the kiss. I then realised the familiar smell I had struggled to identify only moment before. 

"Z-Z-Zack?" I questioned when he finally pulled away from me. He closed the car door behind us and sat me up, pulling the blanket that was on the seat, around me. He smiled at me. A real smile. I noticed his eyes were bloodshot, had he been crying? Zack was never one to cry. I had only seen him cry on two occasions, once when his nan died, and another when his mother discovered she had cancer. Luckily she pulled through though.

"Charley, I'm sorry. I over-reacted. I was j-" he started, but I interrupted him, 

"No. It's my fault. Please don't apologise. I'm begging you. Let me take the blame." 

"But it's not your fault!" he shouted, scaring me slightly. He must have noticed because his hand came up caress my cheek. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to shout. But just hear me out, okay?" He asked. I nodded, leaning my face into the comfort of his hand. "I saw how Leo looked at you. And he always got the girls. And he wanted you. And when Leo wants someone... He gets them. No one can resist his charm, and since you dated him-" 

"One date. And nothing happened." I interrupted. 

"But a date all the same." he continued, "Since you dated him, I thought you might pick him over me. I was just hurt. Honestly Charley, I love you. With all my heart. I couldn't imagine anyone better than you. It was pure jealousy. And when you walked out.. I realised. You mean the fucking world to me, Charley! I'm an idiot. I'm not perfect. But when I see you like this... Crying... It tears me up inside. Especially knowing it's my fault. I never mean to hurt you. I'm so, so, unbelievably sorry. I love you. I really honestly love you, from the bottom of my heart." he smiled at me.

I cried harder now, tears of joy. How could one man mean so much to me? How could one man be so kind to me? He was perfect. I kissed him passionately, before replying to his speech. 

"But it's not your fault. I know what it looked like.. and.. I know..." I took a deep breath. If I was going to be honest with him, I might as well come clean about what I thought about Leo, or it'd haunt me..

"I know what I thought about him. But.. I really love you, and if you can't see that.. well I guess I understand." I hung my head in shame. I still couldn't believe I'd actually considered cheating on Zack with Leo.

"You thought what about him?" Zack asked, totally confused. Of course he would never understand. He sat staring at me, like a little child, his head slanted to the left slightly. He was so beautiful. I couldn't help but cry more.

"I thought that... that I wanted him. But I wanted you as well. I just... I don't know. I was stupid to even consider it." I sighed. To my surprise, Zack just kissed me again. Soft, tender and loving. I knew right then that any doubts I could possibly have were gone. How could I ever love anyone else? I wrapped my arms around Zack's neck and pulled him closer to me, until it was almost painful.

"I'm sorry." I choked out, when we paused for breath. Zack started to shake his head.

"I know, baby. I forgive you. It happens. It's not like you did anything with him.. it's only innocent thoughts." He said before leaning back in to kiss me again. I could hear the rain lightly tapping on the top of the car, combined with our heavy breathing. It was completely peaceful, and made me feel whole inside. I needed Zack like I needed the air I breathe. I couldn't live without him, that was for sure. I wasn't even prepared to try.

"Shall we go now?" I panted, totally out of breath from our heavy make-out session in the back of his car. He nodded and climbed clumsily into the drivers seat, grinning cheekily at me over his shoulder as he started the car. I smiled at him and moved to the end of the backseat and rested my hands on his muscly shoulders, gently massaging him.

"Mmm," he moaned, "you should totally become a professional." I smiled, happy to make him happy. We drove all the way to his house in silence. Not an awkward silence, but just enjoying each others company, happy that this whole stupid argument was over.