Everyday Of Emptiness

Realization

Everyday Of Emptiness:
       REALIZATION

Now, I just realized something, you don't have to be scared to face life because there is someone out there from above who's always there for you. Even others will turn to you and crashed you down, always remember someone is always there.

Maybe I was blinded by my problems that I forgot that there is someone who's guiding, protecting and loves me.

I thanked this guy for introducing me to Him. Yesterday we went to the church and attended a holy mass.

At first, I was hesitant to come because I was afraid and guilty. I have many sins. I told him about it. He only said "A, we're here to repent for our sins, ask forgiveness and listen to the Gods word."

As I entered the church, goose bumps filled my skin. I didn't felt this way before. I mean, I've been to church before but I can't remember when was the last time I come in. But this mood was the kind of feeling I never expect. I think the holy spirit just captured my soul. I want to cry for it.

I followed him. He knelt and clasped his two hands, bow his head, close his eyes and said a prayer.

  I do what he did. I don't know where to start. They said it's not difficult to pray, all you have to do is to talk to Him. Praying is like talking to Him...

So, that's what I did.

"U-hmm. I don't know what to say but -  Our gracious heavenly father, I want to thank you for everything that you have done to me, for being there even though I don't recognize you. I'm sorry if attempt to end my life for it was the greatest mistake that I have done in my life. I'm sorry for everything" This time I can't help myself to cry.

"I'm sorry if I always tell myself that I am lonely, empty or sad and not being able to see that you're always there. Please forgive me for I have sinned. Lord, I commit myself to you, accept you as my personal Lord and Savior. Thank you for bringing me to this wonderful. Please guide me to the right path. Please bless us, my family, my country and all. Please protect us always. In Jesus name, I pray Lord God, Amen"

After that, I just felt so good. Like there's no pain my chest. Indeed, talking to him is the best feeling. 

"So, how was it?" He asked

I smiled. "It was the best feeling ever and it was such a relief. And thank you."

"For what, A?"

"For bringing me to this holy place. It was a very long time since I came her and talked to him. So, thank you so much . It really means so much to me." I thanked him and gave him a  genuine smile.

"It's nothing. So, where to?"

I put my hand on my chin and think deeply.

"Can we just go grab some lunch? I'm starving. Please?" I beg. 

"Well, who can't resist your charms?" He said and I just rolled my eyes at him.

We want to an Italian restaurant and dig until our stomach was full. After we satisfy our tummies with so much food, he drove me back to house.

I went to the room, went to shower and changed my clothes. I jumped in my bed and made myself comfortable.

What happened earlier was a bolt from the blue. I never expected that it will happen to me. Like what I said, it was such a relief. For all the sadness and emptiness that filled into my heart just suddenly vanished because of Him, It was like magic you didn't expect. And the feeling was the best.

'It is only when we realize your nothingness, your emptiness, that God cam fill Himself.' this was quoted by Mother Theresa. Indeed, it was.

And for my family or my dad, I regret everything. I'm sorry if I didn't feel your love when all you did was filling those emptiness in my heart.

Realize things before it's too late. Love people before you lose them. Life comes just once. Love it while you live it.

Come into His hands and He will heal you. Don't be scared, He is always there.