Dead But Alive

VIII

Falling asleep last night was not easy at all. Especially when negative thoughts were drowning all my positive thoughts. It's like little demons broke loose and flooded my mind with all these horrible things. Even though I don't want to think about it, it still forces me to. I have never felt this lonely before. I feel numb, like the world around me is disconnected from reality. There's this scared and anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, that's making me feel harder to breathe whenever the thought of her leaving me comes to my mind. I don't want to be abandoned for a second time.

Although I fell asleep pretty late last night, I still seemed to awake before the alarm went off. I wasn't surprised. I could imagine the huge black bags sitting under my eyes.

I stared out the window, trying to count the leftover stars that are still visible. Mom has already left, I can tell by the fact that I can't smell her scent or hear her movements anymore.

My alarm goes off, pulling me out of my gloomy thoughts. 6:30AM, third day at a vampire school. Can't wait. I slap my alarm as it goes quiet, heading towards the bathroom to get started with my day.

I stepped into the shower, coming face to face with the metallic head that hung above me. My eyes shuts closed as warm water comes in contact with my face like small bullets melting to the touch of my flesh. I stand there, letting it caress my skin. The steam of the shower was thick, fogging up the glass and filling the air as minutes passed by.

It's like if I stood here longer, the dark thought will soon be gone and vanished from my hopeless mind. Being an optimist is better than being a pessimist I guess.

The water was starting to make my hands go wrinkly, I stood there in the same spot for almost 20 minutes before I decided to actually wash myself and get some shit done. I got out as I noticed my shower was 40 minutes long. I didn't feel like caking my face with makeup, I felt like today is when I show the vampire world my flaws. My breakfast was just a cup of cold milk, it always wakes me up in the morning and makes me feel much more better. Phoenix had texted me just when I finished brushing my teeth.

I can't make it today, you'll have to find another way to get to school. I'll see you tomorrow.

Another ding was followed by the first.

Don't bother replying, I'd be best if you didn't.

I stand there dumbfounded as toothpaste still lingers around my mouth. I couldn't say this was unexpected since he ditched often. But I was still curious about why he couldn't make it. I mean, he can't be ill, he's a goddamn vampire.

I sighed slapping my forehead with the palm of my hand. Maybe today was one of his days that he ditched school.

I wipe my mouth clean as I walk downstairs. Last night's memories are still haunting me. Now after knowing Phoenix won't be coming to school today just makes me even sadder. But at least I've got Alora and the squad.

The ride to school wasn't long at all. I took the bus, which wasn't that surprising.

Students were still standing in the corridor, backs against lockers and talking to their friends. Delphine's locker is very close to mine as Alora and Fabianne's isn't.

I continued down the hall, right to my locker, Delphine was nowhere to be seen.

I shrugged, stuffing a few books into my bag.

"I can't wait for History." Cogan's voice startles me as he appears next to me, leaning on the locker beside mine as he winks.

I glare at him and faked a smile, before walking away after slamming the locker shut.