Hetalia Headcanons

England Headcanon 2

England was cursed so that every time he cooks/make something it would burn, this is why his cereal randomly combusted which is impossible. He showed this to France after his constant comments about his cooking. England still doesn't know who cursed him but he presumes it was one of the self proclaimed witches back in the 16th and 17th century. England also doesn't have a 'bad taste in food' but he in fact just has impaired taste.

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*France and England are sitting in Frances kitchen*

France: You're seriously telling me that you cant cook because you was cursed? I don't believe you one bit l'Angleterre!

*France chuckles*

England: Fine if you don't believe me watch this!

*England walks towards France's bread bin*

France: Don't you dare touch zat!

*England scoffs and pulls out a slice of bread and a slice of cheese from the fridge and shows it in front of France's face*

France: Yes l'Angleterre that is bread and cheese, what are you trying to prove!?

England: Hmph

*England makes the bread and cheese touch and it sets on fire out of no where*

France: AHHH PUT IT OUT ARE YOU CRAZY! IS THIS YOUR BLACK MAGIC?!?

*France flaps his arms around in a panic*

England: Shut up you frog! This isn't black magic I told you its a curse!

*France stops panicking as England throws the bread and cheese out of the window*

France: But zere is no such thing as curses! This is just your... your... black magic!

England: For god sake Frog I told you that it's not black magic!

France: Like i'll believe zat it is a curse!

England: Well it is! You saw that bread and cheese set on fire out of thin air.

France: This is very hard to believe l'Angleterre

England: Well believe it

*England sits down again and puts his head on the table, a depressing aura surrounds him*

England: why is it always me...

*France's face softens and he sits back down as well*

France: How come you are cursed mon cher?

England: I don't bloody know... I bet it was those blasted witches!

France: witches?

England: Yeah back in the 16th to 17th you know about the witches at the time don't you?

France: Yes it was a common fear across Europe I never really believed in them

England: Well I do and I remember meeting a strange old woman, a few days after everything I tried to make went up in flames!

*England bangs the table angrily with his fist*

France: Mon cher please, this table is new

*England grumbles*

England: Blast it all...

France: One question, how do you eat?

England: Well my curse only applies to things that I make myself, I can touch other peoples food no problem so I usually just eat out or buy ready made things.

France: Poor mon cher~

England: Don't push it Frog

France: Well anyway... how was my cooking? I bet it was the best meal you've had in a while!

England: I couldn't taste much of anything but I guess it was good.

France: L'ANGLETERRE DON'T TELL ME THIS IS ANOTHER CURSE!

England: No I really just cant taste much of anything, neither can my brothers

*France puts his head on the table and sobs*

France: There is something really wrong with you and your brothers...