In the middle of the night, I wake up out of breath. These panic attacks were happening a bit too frequently and I'm not enjoying it.
It happens for a short period of time, but doesn't feel like it.
You'll notice heavy breathing, not because you're excited or anything it's because you can't breath properly so your body switches to heavy breathing, consuming and intaking as minimum oxygen as possible thus leading you focused on this action. You focus on breathing, counting every second because if you don't do so, you freak out, this keeps me calm a bit.
Then comes the sweating, cold sweating from absurd parts. Your lower back, under your hips start sweating coldly.
After that it's time for blurry vision, your vision gets blurry, scratchy. It's not completely dark however you don't have full clarity of what's around you which is even more amusing. But it's almost over, a few seconds after that, it ends. Leaving you with "What the fuck just happened?"
I was having one of those.
I crawl up, bring my knees closer to me, mumbling "it's ending" over and over.
Chris notices this but I'm too out of place to notice him.
"Katherine?" He rushes to my bed, trying to understand what was going on.
He brings me close to him, hugs me tight not saying anything and ironic enough, it helps.
After i give myself few minutes to get my shit together, I pull myself away.
"I'm okay now, sorry for disturbing."
"What's happening to you?" He asks worried.
"I-I don't know." I'm overwhelmed.
"Talk to me, please."
My phone rings, interrupting us.
"Who is this? It's 4 in the morning?" I pick up.
"Am I speaking to Katherine Avery?" An old man speaks.
"Yes, who is this?"
"I'm calling from Boston police department, to inform you about the accident."
"What accident?"
"Your brother Cory Marcus Avery, got into a car crash last night. He didn't make it."
"He what?" Okay keep your cool Katherine, keep your cool.
"He was not alone, George Avery which i got information about him being your father was with him. They both couldn't make it. We're sorry."
I hung up.
"What was that?" Chris asks.
"I can't do it." I start shaking, shivering.
"What is it." He's holding me, concerned.
I reach for my pills, searching through every spot, I find one.
"Katherine what are you-"
Not letting him finish, i chug the whole pill bottle, Chris couldn't act fast enough to get it out of my hand but i hear him calling for help.
----------------------------------------
White. Sick smelling, I'm guessing medication smell. Opening my eyes a bit further, yep a hospital.
Chris is standing next to me looking sleep deprived.
"Hey." I say like nothing happened. I still feel awful and kind of pissed at god for not letting me die.
"You're aware that you just committed suicide right?"
"Ugh man, they'll now send me to a mental health institution or something."
"Well duh."
I look around the room, scanning around to see if there's something sharp. I see a pair of scissors across the table.
"I'm hungry." I say to Chris to get him out of the room.
"Yeah I figured, let me go grab something." He walks out.
Be fast, I literally rip off the serums attached to my arm, take a big breath and get up reaching for the scissors. We're going to have to do this the hard way.
I can't stop the tears from falling down, I'm too dizzy to think straight but also too broken to keep living.
"What sandwich sh-- KAT!" Chris screams.
"STAY THERE." I say crying.
"I can't do it anymore." I keep tearing down.
"You can, you're strong enough to overcome this. Please Katherine please."
"I can't." I whisper and stab the scissors around my chest.
"SOMEONE SEND HELP!" Chris rushes holding me.
"Don't be upset." I smile, he tears up this time.
"I'm in the hands of my first love." I touch his cheek, he's crying silently.
My breath keeps getting heavier and heavier.
My heart fills with regret, seeing him broken like that,
But I've been broken too.
I say my last words to him,
"I love you."
---------—•—---------
Well that's it, thank you guys for all the support, was this too dark? Idk
For now I'm not planing on a sequel or anything.
Don't forget to comment <33 give me some feedbacks how was this?
I'll be on Twitter crying over superheroes,
@hotlineromanova is the address
Thank you, stay fab and goodbye
-mel
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Outlawed | Chris Evans
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