Express Yourself

Chapter Four

I walked down the hall and out the front door. I grabbed my iPod back out and went to my music. I tapped shuffle, and Never Too Late by Three Days Grace came on. I sang along quietly as I walked. I wondered what Olivia and I would need to talk about. Maybe it was about the rumors. Maybe it was something more than that. I started to get really nervous. My palms were sweating, my heart was racing, and I had butterflies really bad.

When I got to Olivia's house, i stopped on the edge of the road, and looked up at her house. I realized in that moment that I was scared. I didn't know what was coming next. I didn't know what to expect. I inhaled deeply and exhaled until my lungs were empty. I relaxed, and walked up to the door. I knocked, and Olivia answered the door almost immediately after, as if she were standing by the door waiting for me to knock.

I walked inside and sat at the table. Olivia sat across from me, looking sick to her stomach. I started to get nervous again. My butterflies came back, and I couldn't shake them off. Olivia and I sat in silence for what felt like forever; she finally broke the silence.

"Thanks for coming Alex," she said weakly.

"Not a problem," I half whispered. "So what do you need to talk to me about?"

"Well," Olivia began, "you know those rumors at school?"

"Yeah, what about them?" I asked softly.

More silence followed, and then Olivia whispered, "They're true." I saw tears forming in her eyes, I hated when her eyes were clouded with tears. I loved her eyes. She was so pretty.

"Olivia, don't cry. Why didn't you tell me?" I said, getting up to hug her. She got up and hugged me tightly. I could tell she felt like she was going to lose me.

"I thought you would just leave me out of your life because your now ex-boyfriend didn't like gay people," Olivia said into my shoulder through tears.

"For my best friend, you really don't know me. I'd never let someone else make me stop being friends with somebody just because they don't like gays," I said, chuckling.

"I know, but you don't know all the rumors," Olivia said, more tears coming to her eyes.

"What other rumors?" I ask, looking at her inquiringly.

"Rumors that I like you..." she mumbles.

"I can't understand you," I say.

"Rumors that I like you," Olivia says, more audibly this time.

"Well, do you?" I ask, scared of the answer.

"Yes," Olivia said, more tears rushing from her eyes. She pushed me away from her when I tried to hug her closer to me.

"I don't know what to say..." I said.

"You don't have to say anything..." she whispered.

She sniffled and we stood there in silence. I glanced at the clock. 7:30. I had to be home in thirty minutes.

"So, how long have you known you were bi?" I asked timidly.

"Since fourth grade," Olivia said, looking at me.

"How did other people find out?" I asked.

"Well," she began, "I was in my first period drawing a picture of you and I, well, kissing..." she whispered.

"I didn't think anyone was looking, but apparently they were..."

"Oh..." I say, not knowing what to do or say anymore.

"I'm so sorry all of this happened Alex," Olivia said, looking at me. I could see her eyes, and they were pleading with me to help her. But the truth was, something in the back of my mind was saying I didn't want to talk to Olivia anymore.

"It's okay, I have to go," I say. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Olivia walked over to me, and wrapped her arms around me. I wrapped my arms around her, but it didn't feel like it used to. It felt odd. We both pulled out of the hug, and looked at each other. I knew, I knew this was the end of our friendship.

I slowly backed to the door, and I started to tear up. I mouthed the words, 'I love you,' to Olivia, and she mouthed them back. A tear escaped my eye as I walked out the door. I turned back for one last look, and we are both crying, because we both know it's the end of our friendship, and we're both heartbroken.

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Hey guys, please give me some feedback!! I already had this written, I just decided to get it out there!! Please let me know what you think!! Thanks, love you all (: