Express Yourself

Chapter Six

It's been about a month since Olivia and I talked last. I can't stop thinking about her... I miss her so much, and I can't stand to not talk to her. I miss her, I need her, I'm in love with her. I figured out over the past month thinking about her and seeing her in school, that I'm bisexual too. She's worn the same hoodie for the last month, and I know she's been cutting herself again. I want so desperately to talk to her. My mind and my heart are fighting each other: My mind says to forget her, and move on, but my heart says to chase after her and pull her close to me. I don't know which one to listen too.

Mine and Olivia's lockers are right next to each other. It's a Tuesday afternoon, and I'm out at me locker after seventh period, getting ready to go home. I see Olivia walk over, and I feel a jolt in the pit of my stomach. Talk to her, I tell myself. What the hell am I supposed to say? I yell back at myself. Wow, I need some mental help.

I hear a sniffle, and I know it's Olivia. Oh no, I think, she's been crying. I feel my heart sink a long way down to my stomach. I take in a big sigh. Here goes, I say. I'm gonna talk to her.

"So, does your mom know, about you being bi?" I say.

"Yeah, I told her in sixth grade," Olivia says back through sniffles.

I decide then and there that when I go home today I'm going to tell my mom about me. I know my mom would accept me for who I am, no matter what.

"Oh, okay..." I say, shutting my locker. I looked at Olivia, and all I wanted to do was hold her close to me. I loved her so much, I almost couldn't contain myself.

"See you around," I say, smiling at her.

"See ya," she says, smiling back. I loved her smile.

I walked back to my seventh period and sit down next to Lily. She could tell I had been acting weird the last month, so I decided to tell her about everything, even falling in love with Olivia. When I finished, Lily sat there silent.

"Well, I kinda always knew you would be bi. Good for you Alex," Lily finally said, with a smile.

The bell rings for dismissal to the buses, and Lily and I walk to the buses together.

"I'm gonna tell my mom when I get home. Olivia's mom knows about her, so I'm not worried about that," I say as we approach Lily's bus.

"Well good. I gotta get on the bus, text me and let me know how it goes with telling Olivia how you feel!" She yells as I walk away.

"I'll be sure too!" I yell back.

I ran to my bus, and I passed Olivia on my way. Our buses are right next to each other, and when I pause before getting on, I look at Olivia and smile. She smiles back, and I stick my tounge out. I see her chuckle, and my heart soars like an eagle in the wind. I got on the bus, and sat down in the back in front of Kayla. She waves, and I smile. I got my iPod out and turned on You and I by Lady Gaga. I mouth the words along with the song and my phone starts to vibrate. I pull it out and I have two new messages. One from Lily, and one from Olivia, and sarily enough, they both say the same thing: Everyone knows.

I have a mini heart-attack and think of what they could mean. At that moment, I put the pieces of the puzzle together. Olivia was scared to tell me she was bi because Austin doesn't like gay people. Austin is in my seventh period and in Olivia's first period, so he must have seen her drawing and overheard my discussion with Lily. In a second, I went from happy to angry enough to spit out hellfire.

"Kayla? Will you do me a favor?" I say, turning to Kayla.

"Yeah, what's up?" She said.

"Please beat the living shit out of your brother. He's caused me and my friend enough trouble, and I'm tired of it," I say.

"Yeah, no problem. I can do that. I've been looking for an excuse to hurt him..." Kayla says, a devious smile spreading across her lips.

"Oh, and would you mind telling him to come to my house before you beat him? I need to have a nice little chat with him," I say.

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks, I owe you one," I say, smiling at Kayla.

I text Lily and Olivia back and say I have it under control. Olivia texts back a smile, and Lily asks if I need help. I text Lily and say that I got it, but thanks for the offer. I slide my phone shut and put it back into my pocket. Closer To The Edge by 30 Seconds To Mars comes on and I think about what's going to happen later.