Those enchanted four and half years

Chapter 24

Few days later, I and Amey went for a stroll along the highway. Now-a-days, we met less often as both had tight schedule and lots of study. I told him about our PSM visits. I told him about the small girl. He too first looked at me and then shook his head.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said.

"I want to know..."

"I was just thinking..."

"What?"

"That you are not fit to be a doctor," he said.

"Why?" I stopped in my tracks.

"You can't if you take everything to such an emotional level," he said.

"Why? Whats wrong?" I challenged.

"You can't think rationally when you think so emotionally," he said, "you could be a counsellor but not a healer if you are emotional".

I did not say anything, though I disagreed with what he said. I myself could not serve my patients remaining aloof to their mental condition. I could not display inhuman attitude. This was why Arun was staring at me the other day, I thought. I felt bad.

Next day, during clinics, I asked Arun, "You too think I am not fit to be a doctor?

"What?" Arun asked, surprised by my out-of- the- blue accusation.

"You too think I am not fit to be a doctor?" I repeated.

"You too means? Who else thinks so?" he asked

"That's not the point, answer me," I said.

"Of course not. What made you think so?"

"What were you thinking that day when you were looking at me?"

"Which day Ruta? Why are you talking in riddles?" Arun asked, irritated.

"The day we were returning from the orphanage?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Tell me."

"Okay, I am not flattering you, mind you. You asked me. I thought how could you think so much about an unrelated person? How lucky people close to you would be; how lucky your future patients would be. Medical profession has become a business now – a – days. Everyone is money minded. No one thinks about the other the way you do....What? Is that wrong?" Arun asked, as now I was staring at him.

"Nothing," I said as I shook my head and smiled.

"You and your moods!" Arun exclaimed as he went back to his case taking.

I fell deep in thought. What a difference in attitude there was between Amey and Arun! For one single incident, both had totally different vision, totally different lines of thinking. Both were correct in their own right, however, Amey had seen the negative side of it, while Arun had seen the positive one.

That night, I again had the same dream. I was standing against the barricade at one of the points in Mahabaleshwar. I knew the view of the deep green valley beneath was very beautiful. However, it was not visible as it was completely covered by fog. The fog would not clear, would not reveal the reality beneath...and I woke up.