Avenir // tyler joseph

five // here we go again

--Courtney's P.O.V--

"Bowser, stop being difficult," I demanded as I buttoned up his coat, which took years for him to squeeze into.

"I don't want to wear a coat, momma. Daddy's not wearing one," he pouted.

I raised my eyebrows at my son, whose brown hair was in bad need of a haircut. "I can't control your dad, Bowser. If it was up to me, he would wear a sweatshirt at least." I smiled, pulling him against me and kissing his cheek. "However, I can control you because I'm your mom, which means you have to wear a coat."

A laugh escaped his little body as I began to tickle him. He was nearly out of breath as Pierre approached us, carrying both Benji and Séverine in his arms. They too were buttoned up in their heavy coats even though it was the middle of August.

"Are you almost ready to head out?" Pierre asked. "Our plane to Miami leaves in an hour and Chuck insists that we need to be there early."

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I believed that Chuck forgot that Pierre and I had three young children, who were all extremely stubborn. Bowser was the most stubborn and refused to get out of bed until I threatened for Pierre to come in and take him out of bed. That set us back quite possibly an hour or so, estimating that we were going to arrive at the airport exactly on schedule.

"I think we are ready," I replied, picking Bowser up, his legs wrapping around my waist. "I made sure we had everything packed last night."

Pierre sat Benji and Séverine down and I gently leaned down to let go of Bowser. "Go get your suitcases while your mother and I talk."

"Okay," they all chorused, charging up the stairs. As soon as they were out of hearing range, Pierre wrapped his arm around my shoulders, trying to calm my nerves.

"I know you are worried about the boat and Tyler, but it's going to be okay, I promise," he whispered in my ear. "Just think of this trip as an early honeymoon for us."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think it would be considered a real honeymoon since our kids will be sleeping in the same cabin as us."

Pierre grinned. "We will find a way around that. We have before." I smiled, shoving him away as our kids bounded down the stairs.

All three of my kids were nervous about getting on a "big ship" as they liked to say. Bowser and Benji hadn't even been on an airplane before and I didn't want them to understand that I was just as nervous as they were. As a mother, I was supposed to make my children feel safe and them finding out about my fear of water wouldn't help their case.

"Are we all ready to go?" Pierre asked, ruffling all of their hair.

All of my children nodded aside from Bowser, who just seemed nervous, and we headed out the door.

•••

The plane ride went smoother than I expected. The twins didn't freak out like Séverine did when she first rode a plane and I was very thankfully for that. However, when we landed in Miami, I was the one starting to break down.

I was actually going to get on a boat for a week, especially one that also had Tyler Joseph on board as well. All of Simple Plan and my kids were excited and I felt myself close to a panic attack. My hands were starting to tremble as the ship came into view and Pierre reached over in the backseat of the car to grab my hand and squeeze. He stayed mute, not wanting the kids to feel unsafe because of one of my episodes

The last couple years my mental health had been doing great. My medication was working beautifully and I was no longer suffering as bad as I used to. The last time I had a breakdown was maybe a month or so after Benji and Bowser were born. Life was actually going the way I wanted it to and for some reason, it went downhill after I gave birth for the second time. I recovered with much difficulty.

However, during that recovery I felt absolutely helpless and that was what I was feeling now. Completely helpless as the car stopped, pulling into a parking space. The driver climbed out first and Pierre followed suit, making sure the kids were following him. "Hey, David, come over here!"

I watched David dart over from the other rental car next to us, leaving London looking confused at his sudden departure. Pierre mumbled quietly to him, making sure our children couldn't hear. "David, try to calm her down. I'll keep Séverine and the twins occupied."

My palms were beginning to sweat as my breathing sped up, almost to the point where I was hyperventilating. My heart was racing and I could hear it beating in my ears as Davd slid into the car next to me.

"Hey, hey, Courtney," he said, softly. "Can you hear me? It's going to be alright. This boat is perfectly safe and you and your whole family will have a great time. It doesn't matter that it involves water."

"Pierre will keep you out of harm's way along with all the rest of us." His voice dropped lower as I swallowed. "And I know that you terrified to see Tyler no matter how many times you tell Pierre that you aren't. You can avoid him easily if you don't want to talk to him. Nobody is forcing you to rekindle your relationship with him."

David was right, but the nausea in my stomach refused to go away at the thought. I was afraid that I was going to see Tyler in pain. I didn't want him to be in pain just because I wasn't with him.

"This whole trip was a bad idea," I muttered, leaning into David's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me. "Courtney, when I first met you I honestly believed that I fell in love with you. However, when I met London, all my feelings for you changed and I guess I took on the overprotective brother role."

I chuckled. "And you know what overprotective brothers do, Courtney? They make sure that nothing harms the person they care about. And the point of this, is that all of us will take care of you and I'm pretty sure Pierre and I will enjoy punching Tyler in the face if you want us to."

David was not a very comforting to person because he never knew what to say, but for some reason, whatever he said always managed to make me feel better. My heart was starting to calm down and my hands were no longer shaking. I turned my head to look out the window to see everyone unloading our luggage from the cars.

"Thanks, David," I muttered. "I feel a bit better, but the moment I see Tyler, I'll probably have another panic attack."

"Actually they seem to be running late," he responded. "Their manager called Chuck and told him that their plane got delayed, so we all probably be on the boat by the time they show up."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "At least I don't have to see him right away."

David raised his eyebrows. "However, you get to see Nick right away and how much are we betting that he is going to go up to Séverine and say "do you know that I delivered you?"

"Séverine is going to be so confused," I responded, both of us finally climbed out of the car.

All the luggage was sitting on the pavement as the wind whipped my long hair around my face. Bowser ripped himself out of Pierre's grasp and rushed towards me. I bent down and picked him up in my arms, pulling his hood up on his head. "Momma, I'm cold."

I grinned at him. "Why do you think I told you to wear a coat, sweetheart?"

A/N: I had terrible writer's block for this chapter and I have no idea why. However, Tyler is coming in the next chapter, so be prepared

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-L.A