TOXIC

Chapter 3

I sit there feeding my lamb. His little mouth wraps around the bottom as he tries to suck the rest of the milk out. I laugh at the sounds he's making, its like he's trying to kiss someone. Stefan walks in to the pen and sits next to me. He smiles at me, but I don't feel like smiling back. I give him a faint smile than look down at the lamb. 

"Do you play any sport?" I ask. "Because, I'm not coming home straight away. I have practice."

"Soccer. Track" he says. I nod my head slowly. He obversely had to do track to be able to run away so much. 

"I do soccer as well" I say. "And cheer leading. It's soccer practice today you should try out" I explain awkwardly.

"Yeah. I might" he replies and nods his head. 

"I better get ready for school" I say handing him the bottle as I stand up. 

----

I walk in to school and I hear Stefan and Hailey talking. I listen in and try and mack out the words they were saying.

"...You totally like her."

"No I don't" he replies.

"You so do. I won't tell her. I promise. I saw the way you looked at her."

"I don't like her. I would never date her." I feel angry after what he said and i don't know why. I have a boyfriend and my life was just being to work itself out.  I walk in and get ready for my next class. They both look at me weirdly as I walk in, but I just look away and sit down. 

During the lesson I look at my pen and fiddle with it. I never actually listened to anything in the lesson. 

"And what do you think of this speech assignment Jordan?" I look up on the board and see the word 'PAST' written in bold capital letters and underneath have you learnt anything from it. I run my fingers through my blonde wavy hair and then look at the class. Everyone was staring at me. Including Stefan.

"That it is stupid."

"Why? Why do you say that Jordan?"

"Cause didn't someone say that looking back on the past creates more suffering even if it was wonderful. The past in the past.I haven't had a good past, why would i go back and revisit that and cause more pain to myself?"

"Has everyone watched the Lion King? The quote they say is 'Oh yes the past can hurt. But you can either run from it or learn from it. You obviously did something in the past wrong and you want to change it" he explains. I stand up after he finishes speaking and walk out. 

"What's wrong babe?" Joey asks as he walks by.

"Stupid English assignment. That reminds me. I need to tell you something."

"Anything" he says shrugging his shoulder. I turn around and face him so we are now face to face. But as i go to speak Stefan comes out.

"Mr. Quinn wants you back in class" he says.  

"Yeah. I better get back to class" Joey says and kisses me on the head. Stefan looks at me.

"What?" I say rolling my eyes.

"Nothing" he says.

----

In nearly ever class I overheard Stefan and Hailey talking. I listen in one more time and then I was done.

"Why did you go outside to talk to her?" Hailey asked.

"I didn't talk to her at all. I just told her Mr. Quinn wanted her to come back into class."

"Why did she storm out then?"

"She's just coming to terms with something."

"What? Why wouldn't she have told me? Why do you know?"

"She was raped. And she's being getting these messages from some guy." I am so frustrated with him right now. I told him not to tell anyone. I walk in and he looks at me. He comes over to me and tries to put a hand on my shoulder I shrug it off.

"Don't" I say nodding my head. "Why would you do this to me?".

"She deserves to know."

"I don't need your help. I'm fine without you. Everything was so much better when you weren't around. We never had any problems.  You don't know me. Just because I told you a story about me, doesn't mean you know me. Or what's right for me. You know nothing about me and if I'm honest you don't want to."

"Jordan?!" she yells.

"No. Hailey. I'm sick of him. I keep thinking when is this gonna stop. When will I forget about it. But its people like you that think your doing the right thing. When your not. Just do what you normally do run off and leave me alone." I run out and drive home. 

I sit on the couch and eat my Ben and jerry's out of the tub with a massive spoon with my sweatpants and sweater. 

"What's wrong pumpkin" Elizabeth says sitting next to me. She moves my legs up towards me then lays them on her lap.

"I said something" I say shoving a spoonful in my mouth.

"What did you say?" she says looking down on me. 

"I said Stefan should run away so he would be out of our lives."

"Was that wrong?"

"Yes. But he shared a secret around school about me that I didn't want anyone to know. I only told him so he would leave me alone.

"Well he has a surprise outside in the barn for you and if I was you I would go out there before you get rained on." I jump up with my Ben and Jerry's. "No" she says and takes it off me. 

I walk outside and see Stefan has tacked up the horse. 

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry and maybe we could go on a ride to that spot you showed me yesterday" he explains. As soon as he says that rain pours on to the roof.

"We can't " I say.

"Could you please forgive me".

"I meant we can't go riding. It too slippery for the horse to get up there. But I have another idea" I say and run outside into the heavy rain with him.  "I'm sorry. I just have a lot to deal with at the moment. I didn't mean that you should run away. I was just angry."

"It's ok" he says wiping the rain off my forehead. We laugh as he get soaked by the rain. Which I probably shouldn't have been wearing a white top. My clothes suck to my body as he moved in. I move in as well and get caught up in the moment. Our lips touch, and his lips are soft and clod from the rain. We make out in the rain until he pulls me away. "I can't. I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't care" I reply. 

"Well I can't" he says. I feel so angry and ashamed again. I run off and I hear him call my name, but I don't turn around. He just stands there in the rain. 

I walk inside, creating puddles every time I step I create a puddle. I run up to mama and give her a big hug and cry in her arms. It was just like when I was younger. But I wasn't crying about Stefan it was how I always seemed to get caught in boy trouble and I was sick of it. Thinking of that reminded me of Harry and what he did to me.