TOXIC

Chapter 12

I wake up and look in my mirror. All the bruises have come up, there were bruises on my arms, my collar bone, back, thigh and around my right eye and cheek. After the wedding I had got a brace for my wrist. The doctor said it was a small fraction, but it didn't feel like that. 

I walk out and see Stefan standing there drinking his coffee. I look at my wrist and look up at him again. "Where are the kids?" I ask.

He replies but doesn't look at me "The barn. They wanted to play with the horse."

"There not meant to be around there with out anyone with them" I say and race out to the barn. Stefan runs slowly behind me. I see them in the barn climbing on the buckets so they could be tall enough to reach them.

"Guys. You know you shouldn't me out her without someone." They all step down and look at me and Stefan.

"Stefan said we could." Connor say. I crouch down in front of them.

"Stefan didn't know that. He made a mistake" I explain. 

Erin touches my face, placing her palm on my cheek. "What happened to your face?" she asks. Stefan steps in and crouches down next to me. 

"Don't worry. Come back to the house and get dressed. We can take the horses out later for a ride" he explains. I roll my eyes and stand up. Stefan touches my arm and looks me in the eye. "Take the quad. We'll walk back. You need to get ready for the interview today" he says. I look at his hand and he removes it. 

I walk to the quad and jump on it and at high speed race to the house. I get off and walk angrily into the house.

"Hey, hun" Mama says. I turn around to look at her. "How's your arm?"

"Sore, But still bearable."

"Get dressed. They will be over in 20" she says. I nod my head and turn around. "How's thing between you and Stefan?" I turn around. 

"Not good. I think he hates me. Not because I cheated on him but because I broke up with him" I say and look at the ground. "He thinks we should be together. Like he would help me. But that's not what I want. I would just end up losing him."

"Have you told him that?"

"Not exactly."

"Tell him. Also you have an appointment at the doctors tomorrow. There gonna look at your arm. Also a test you need to do before they come" she says throwing a small rectangular box at me. I catch it and look at it. 

"A pregnancy test?"

"Just in case. There gonna have to know" she says. I turn around and walk off. 

I get dressed and take the test. It sits on the bathroom counter until it was time to find out. I walk out and grab some orange juice. Stefan comes in and goes straight to the bathroom. I should have warned him but it was too late.  He comes out. 

"Jordan" he says. I walk closer to him and further away from my juice. "This yours" he says holding it in his two hands. He throws it at me but this time I don't catch it, it just fall behind me. I walk and pick it up. I smile as I look at it. 

"Not" I say. 

"What?" he asks coming towards me. 

"I'm not" I say and smile at him. He smiles back at me and walks closer to me. He looks down at me for the first time today. I smile as I look at the test. I finally lift my head up to look at him but as I was about to speak he kisses me. I pull away and put the test in the bin. 

---

"So how did you know Harry?" the officer asks.

"He was a foster kid of my aunt's; where I was living."

"Did anything happen while you were there?" I look down and play with my fingers. "We need to know this information if this is gonna be solved."

"He raped me."

"So you got moved here?"

"Yep" I say and look at the officer that was jotting down note. I try to move forward to see what she was writing but she pulls the board up closer to her chest.

"So what happened yesterday?" the man asks. I think for a second what I was gonna say but just thinking of what happened made me tear up. 

"He was a relative of my sister's husband and after the ceremony he grabbed my arm and said we had to talk. I walked with him to the back of the barn. We talked, he said how I was still in love with him and I agreed the first time. That I loved it. I said I was done with him and that he used me, that I was in love with him and I had a boyfriend. But he didn't care, he grabbed my wrist as I tried to walk away- after we stopped talking. He squeezed my wrist until I asked him to let it go and then I try to walk off but he punched me and forced me to have sex with him again. I tried again to get away but it didn't work he just got more violent and aggressive. It finally stopped when my sister and mama broke us up."

"Thanks Jordan. You said you have a boyfriend. And from what we heard he was a run away that came to live with you" she explains. I look around and look at them again. He wasn't around. I was hoping he would be so I didn't have to speak to him again. 

"Yeah. But we broke up."

"Did you love him?"

"Yes. I still love him. We broke up after I told him what happened and I thought it would be best to break it off because it wasn't a good time to have a boyfriend. He didn't deserve to go through it."

"Ok. I think that enough. Thanks" she says standing up. I wipe the tears from my face and stand up to shake there hands.

"Good luck" the other says. I didn't know what he meant but I just say thanks and walk them outside. I sit down on the front steps and watch the black car drive off. Stefan sees me and walks across as he holds two little hands in his big hands. I look down hoping he wouldn't look at me or sit down next to me. 

The kids walk past and for a second I am pretty sure Stefan has as well but he stops and sits beside me.

"Are you ok?" he asks.

"Yeah" I say quietly. "You do know we can't be together."

"No" he says. I look at him. "Come with me" he says and stands up. He puts his hand out and I grab it. He takes me to the horses and he grabs two horses. 

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see" he says as he saddles the horses.

"I really don't want to go anywhere, right now" I say putting hair in a ponytail.  He grabs two hats and gives one to me. I put it on and grab my horse. I follow behind. I had no clue what he was doing but I just wanted to turn back I couldn't; he would turn around nearly every minute.

We get to the spot and it was same spot that I took him to for a swim. It looked really beautiful. I sit down on the massive rock that was less than 10 feet away. He sits next to me.

"I thought it would be nice to come here" he says climbing up the rock to sit next to me.

"Do you hate me?" I ask looking at him.

"No. Why would you think that?"

"I cheated on you then broke up with you."

"I just don't understand why we broke up"

"I can't be strong any more" I say and put my hands on my knees.

"You wake up everyday and find a way to forget about what happened yesterday. Your the strongest person I know."

"I don't feel strong any more."

"You don't have to be strong all the time. You can lean on people for support. I will support you no matter what."

"But I don't want any ones support. Its better if I just do it myself. I can't depend on people like you. I'm not going too."

"I'm here though. We'll get through this."

"I don't want to be saved. And if you love me you should let me go" I say and try to get down the rock. I was so sick of him. I didn't want to be here any more. I just wanted to leave.