Chapter 18

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Harry's bags are ready at the door; he's dressed in his Nike sweats and Louis' t-shirt that he brought home to wash the paint out of that night

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Harry's bags are ready at the door; he's dressed in his Nike sweats and Louis' t-shirt that he brought home to wash the paint out of that night... that night that seemed so long ago now; Emma's first art lesson.

He's wearing it to the hospital this morning for his stem cell transplant, hoping that maybe it will be his good luck, his comfort as he goes through this procedure. The shirt is only a plain white t-shirt... but to Harry, it carries so much more meaning. It carries memories, it carries love.

Gemma keeps insisting she text Louis and at least tell him, but Harry says no every time; he doesn't want to burden Louis with this.

They're taking the elevator up to his floor and to his room: 576. His heart is racing while Gemma is still going on about the parking garage.

"I mean, bloody hell, it's fucking 7 am," she's saying as they step out of the elevator on the floor of Harry's room, where he will be for several weeks now. "You'd think we wouldn't have to park at the top."

"It's LA, Gem," Harry smiles weakly at her, "that's just how it is here."

"It's crazy compared to home," Gemma says grinning at him, happy to see him smiling for once.

Harry looks rough, he knows he does. His skin is so pale and he feels like vomiting.

Anne and Gemma are carrying 2 bags while Harry has the other. He even brought pencils and paper to sketch during this process and the stay.

The doctors have already told him the way the process goes; he knows it by heart now. He'll be given the transfusion by IV because he's completed the chemo regimen. His doctor had told him Friday that maybe his stay wouldn't be as long as anticipated.

He's weak, of course, but Harry's doctor is confident in Harry... and to Harry, that helps tremendously. He needs to hear someone say that they're confident in him beating this.

Harry is strong willed, he always has been. But this is different. Of course he has waited for this moment, but now that it's here, he almost wishes he was going back to the beginning and meeting Louis again for the first time... just so he could relive the times he felt alive.

He isn't so much worried that this won't work, though it does cross his mind. He doesn't know how his body will react. The uncertainty of whether or not this will save his life is what worries Harry.

Harry wants a life with two very important people... two people that have changed his world. He wants a life of making breakfast for Louis with Emma on mornings when Louis is sleeping because he's so exhausted. He wants a life of ballet lessons, paint lessons, and even movie nights, Emma snuggled up to him, while he's snuggled into Louis.

His thoughts break as they arrive in his room, the nurse greeting them and going through different things with Harry. He picks up the gown on the bed and smirks at Gemma, "this isn't really my color, is it?"

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