DING!
DING! DING! DING! DING!
DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!
I swirled around in terror. Who was at the door? Everyone who needed to be at the sleepover was already right here...and I was not about to let some uninvited, irrelevant, love-hindering idiot ruin my special night with Ashley. Alarmed, I held up the machete once more, assuring that everyone knew their place in the situation.
Mumu Boutiette would be the only one answering that door tonight.
"I GOT IT!" Apparently, Lydia disagreed. Being closest to the front door, she did have an advantage; she bolted to open it before I could even take one step.
I silently inched behind her like a cobra, ready to strike if threatened; party crashers were not welcome at this lovefest.
"FAELEB?" Lydia wailed. She stepped out of the threshold and looked like she was about to hug him, but then stopped short. I raised the large knife once a tad higher but refrained from touching her. People couldn't go just yet. What if I needed Lydia to cast a spell on Ashley later on? She would totally be necessary. No. It was not her time. Not yet.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I inquired, bringing the blade back down to my side.
"Well," Faeleb started. He wrung his hands as his already ruddy cheeks turned a brighter shade of fuchsia. "I'm helping my little sister out and selling girl scout cookies. And, Lydia, I know you like cookies. And don't you like them too, Mumu? You guys should buy some." He spoke lightning fast, still awkwardly wringing his hands and hungrily staring at his sweater...which Lydia had tied over her shoulders country club style.
I stifled a laugh. Faeleb O' Shaughnessy, who happened to be in full Boy Scout garb, was selling girl scout cookies. This was too entertaining to be interrupted.
"Last time I checked, Trixie would like those better than me. Get the hell off my porch!"
Faeleb balanced himself on a wicker chair to his left. "She's dead," he whispered.
"AND YOU WILL BE TOO IF YOU DON'T GO AWAY THIS INSTANT. YOU'RE RUINING MY PERFECT NIGHT AND I AM NOT GONNA STAND FOR THIS!" I pointed the knife at him and widened my eyes, threatening all sorts of sanguinary acts. At the sound of my roaring, Ashley padded over. I immediately felt his hot minty breath as he peeked over my shoulder. "Sup, Faeleb?" He drawled in a much too eager tone.
The simple fact that Ashley Cohen's rock hard steroided nipples were tickling my love-starved back made my insides melt faster than Hyundai on a hot summer's day. I let the knife down to my side once more while Faeleb stared in shock.
"Fine," Lydia spat, grabbing Faeleb's arm. "Come inside before someone dies for real."
We all shuffled back into the living room, where I spotted Ronan and Kigurl rummaging through Lydia's scary movie cupboard. Beyond them, Chase sat alone in the sunroom, heating up a glistening cronut by the fireplace.
I already felt lighter. Ashley's man hips were touching me, not Kigurl. Chase was alone, meaning there was D conquering potential, and Faeleb had shown up, meaning I could kill someone and not feel bad about it. See? The night was going just peachy!
"The hell you dressed as Chauncey Butts fo?" Kigurl wanted to know. She looked away from the white cabinet for a beat, smirking at Faeleb.
"It's a scout uniform, damn it!"
YOU ARE READING
51 Shades of Mumu
Teen FictionFor Mumu, one boy just isn't enough. Along with her newly-made friends, this high school freshman is about to discover that sometimes, having a boyfriend isn't all that; it's having MANZ that matters.
